Author: ChanAtkins

I’ve Slowed Down A Bit…(and that’s a good thing)

~ ChanAtkins ~ 6 Comments

For the past few weeks, I’ve felt a bit like I am on holiday. This weird, and decidedly naughty feeling has crept over me every day since I handed The Tree Of Rebels back over to my top beta reader. For those that have been following the whole saga, it was meant to be the final, final, draft, but I then decided to hand it over again, and attack it one more time once I get it back. This was meant to be a moment of relief; I’d hand over one project, (the one that’s been driving me crazy) and jump straight into the next one. The next one is the second draft of my novel Elliot Pie’s Guide To Human Nature, a book that was consistently calling to me and generally interrupting the flow of things while I worked on The Tree Of Rebels.

You’d think I was gagging to finally, really get my teeth into that one, and you would be right. I was, and I still am. But something made me stop. It’s been two and a half weeks now since I parted company with The Tree Of Rebels, and I have still not dived into the next book, despite how much I want to.

You see, normally I would have. I would have started that second draft the very next day. I would have divided up my time and my attention, between that, and the million other things I constantly need to do, just like normal. I would have split my time in half each evening; half the time for Elliot Pie, half the time for ‘other things’, such as my short story collection, proposed articles for Author’s Publish, my preparation for the kids writing workshops I run, reviews for Underground Book Reviews, and not to mention, the big fat ugly elephant which sits and reeks constantly in my room. Promo stuff.

Promo stuff; like sorting out my websites, like finishing the process of getting all my books re-available in ebook and paperback after my indie publisher went bust in February, like researching and submitting to review sites, like building an email list, like figuring out how to best ‘sponsor’ a post on my Facebook author page, and so on and so on…

Basically, I have a constant back-list of ugly things to do, and I am constantly putting them off. Why? Because the characters in my head are so totally real, vibrant and alive, that I actually feel physically sick and guilty if I ignore them. Add to that, the very real and crawling in the pit of my belly panic that I have that I will die before I ever get time to write all of the books I want to write… I mean, really, there is just not enough life…

Anyway, I don’t know what, but something happened. Maybe common sense invaded my fucked up writer’s mind and beat the characters over the head with a club to make them shut up. Maybe I just got really tired of juggling lots of balls, and lets face it, seeing very, very little financial reward for any of it. It’s time to get real. It’s time to grow up…well, just a little bit. I love writing. I love it with every fibre and essence of my being. It is completely and utterly who I am, who I have always been, and all I ever want to be. But I can’t just sit and write my books. I have to figure out a way to sell them. I have to give the right amount of attention to other income streams.

So that’s what I’ve been doing. Grown-up stuff. I’ve finished the short story collection and at some point this week I fully intend to upload it to KDP. I’ve set up my email list, and the very lovely subscribers to it will be getting a new and exclusive short story very soon, and many other goodies and sneak peeks in future newsletters. (If you are interested you can sign up here ) I’ve been adding bits to this site  and to my Chasing Driftwood site. I’ve submitted some articles, drafted a review and proposed an author interview. I’m all prepped and ready for my next two kids workshops and my adult writing group.

I’ve been turning the laptop off at nine or ten pm each night. I’ve been curling up on the sofa to watch old X-Files with my kids while they are on Easter holiday. I’ve felt calm and unpanicked, and like I am on holiday! And all because I have pushed the novel writing aside…the thing I love the most…

And yes, all of this time, Elliot Pie has been there. Dear, sweet little Elliot. Who has waited so long to get my full attention, who is there whenever I set foot on my beloved wild common with the dogs, chatting away, thinking his thoughts, writing his lists, trying to think up ways to convince his mum that the world is not such a bad place… He has whispered, and he has giggled, and he has sighed sadly and wandered off again to leave me to it. I am mental, because I really do love him. He is real. Like they all are.

But slowing down has been good for me. Elliot will still be there when I am ready. I am trying to convince myself that I am ignoring him in order to build a better future for him! (See…? Totally fucked up writer’s mind.)

 

 

Author Interview; Keith Gillison

~ ChanAtkins ~ 1 Comment
Welcome to another indie author interview! If you missed the last interview I posted, it was with indie author Joel Dennstedt,  during which he told me all about the inspiration behind his novels, and how manages to keep writing alongside his constant travels. Next up is Keith Gillison, a British author I discovered recently. His debut novel The Boss Killers is a dark and twisted satire about one man’s desire to dispose of his vile boss. Intrigued? You should be, it’s a hell of a story!
1) Your novel, The Boss Killers is a dark satire about one man’s desire to kill his terrible boss. Could you tell us where you got the idea from? 

I’d love to say I did lots of research, spotted a niche area ripe for exploiting and then painstakingly plotted the novel out. However, I was walking through the splendid grounds of a public school in Dorset when this scene played out in my head of a man having his annual appraisal and in his mind he’s saying all the things he really wants to say to his jobsworth boss. I just liked the idea and wanted to know what would happen next so took the idea from there as a starting point and ran with it. The hammer came from an actual former boss who, on my first day, showed me a hammer he kept in his desk, which I’m pretty sure was intended as a threat.

2)Did you always know you wanted to be a writer?

When I was at school for some reason I actually enjoyed writing essays. In my career in marketing I wrote a lot of business copy for promotional materials and websites. I liked writing but never tried my hand at creative writing, I was one of those people who thought ‘one day I’ll write a book’ while secretly knowing that it was a pipe dream and I’d never do anything about it. Nine years ago that changed when I lost my sister to cancer. I thought I couldn’t look myself in the mirror if I didn’t at least try my best to write that book.

3)What has your journey as a writer been like so far? How would you describe the experience?

It’s been a tough journey. At the same time my sister was dying of cancer I was very ill. My energy levels were getting worse and then one day I was out in Dorchester, I sat down at a bench and couldn’t move any part of my body. I was eventually diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (also known as ME) and nearly ended up in a wheelchair. I’ve battled back but have still had frequent bouts of chronic illness for the last 10 years. During this time I also had two children, moved home and wrote a novel. It took me a long time to write it because I was ill so much so there were long periods when I couldn’t write. Also, I wrote the entire novel before I attended my first writing class, which probably isn’t the wisest way of doing things. At first I really struggled writing the novel, as I’d never even written a short story before but I persevered and then one weekend I wrote this scene, what would become The House of Lard chapter, and I thought ‘Woah, where did that come from?’ It was like I’d opened this door into my imagination and suddenly I felt like I might actually be able to do this.

I’ve had ups and downs, I’ve won a writing competition and had short stories published in magazines and anthologies, and been broadcast on local radio, as well as plenty of rejections along the way. I’d say I’m more confident in my own ability now and have learnt some of my blind spots and areas I need to work on but I’m still learning.

4) What made you decide to take the self-publishing route?
I contacted a number of agents initially and was rejected by some, others didn’t even bother to reply. I had some nice rejections but I found the process of waiting an interminable amount of time (always longer than their guaranteed reply period!) very frustrating. I found myself in the position of having a decision to make – did I want to spend the next however many years sending my novel off to publishers and agents or did I genuinely want people to be able to read it. I was impatient to start working on other writing projects as well and I didn’t spend all that time and effort writing my novel to sit on my computer forever so I went for self-publishing. I think people need to ask themselves that question – do you want people to read your work? If the answer is yes then there is nothing stopping you doing it yourself through self-publishing.

5) What would you say is the best thing about being an indie writer?
You can do whatever you want. Nobody is telling you what to do or when to do it, you have the freedom to just go ahead and publish and while the process is a lot of hard work, you also learn a lot and gain valuable skills. It’s a feeling of freedom to not be dependent on other people, knowing you can just do it all yourself. You don’t have to be one of those people who says ‘I wrote a novel but couldn’t get it published so I gave up.’ Self-publishing means when you are rejected by publishers it’s not the end of the road. It’s better that some people read your work than nobody.

6)What would you say are the worst things about being an indie writer?
It would still be good to not have to do everything yourself. As a self-published author you have to do all the promotion of the book yourself and there are times when I’d rather have someone do that for me so I could just concentrate on writing. It’s also irritating that sometimes the self-published tag is perceived as meaning lower quality which is an unfair generalisation. I’m sure there are some poor self-published novels, but I’ve also read plenty of traditionally published novels that were utter tripe.

7) Do you have any top tips for indie survival?

In the words of a well-known sports clothing brand; just do it. It’s an amazing feeling to have your work published and out there for everyone to read. The biggest piece of advice I can give is – believe in your work. As an indie author you have to fight to get attention for your work and you’ll get disappointments along the way but if you truly believe in your work then you’ll know that people just need to read it. Don’t expect it to be easy though, there are millions of books and authors out there but you know something they don’t – your book is awesome! And keep going, it might take you longer to get where you want to be but you can still get there

8)What are you working on at the moment?

I injured my arm in December and typing is still painful now so at the moment I’m mostly writing short stories and flash fiction, with a view to an anthology later this year. I’m about 40,000 words into another novel and I have plans for several others as well. I’ll get back to the novel when I can write more intensively again without the severity of pain.

9) How would you describe your genre and style?
Humour tends to be my natural style of writing, with a leaning towards dark and surreal or ridiculous humour. I love taking an idea and stretching it way beyond what anybody would consider normal. I’d like to think of my writing as very original and different from everything else out there.

10) Who are your influences/fave authors?

Terry Pratchett is a huge hero of mine. I love the humour in his writing and he has some of the greatest fictional characters of all time. Lord Vetinari is a particular favourite, as are Granny Weatherwax and Cut-my-own-throat-Dibbler. Pratchett takes you on amazing journeys of the imagination and he combines great humour with brilliant storytelling.

11) what are your dreams/hopes for the future?

The ultimate dream would be to be able to make a decent living out of writing novels, be a bestselling novelist. I’m sure all authors would want that. I’d just like to write more novels and feel that I’d told the stories in my head as I wanted to and that people enjoyed them. I don’t want to be accused of literature but it would be nice to be recognised as a writer that readers regard as entertaining and original.

12) Tell us about your writing routine/process – how does it work?

I write the old fashioned way – pen and paper and then I type it up later. It adds to the time but I just can’t get any creative juices flowing staring at a screen. There is something special about just a pen and paper and your imagination, you can go anywhere, be anyone and do anything. Pen and paper also means being able to write anywhere without the need for technology. I’m continually scribbling bits at the side and adding arrows so the page is organised chaos. Ideally I like to be alone and somewhere quiet and then just write for a few hours. I have found it difficult to find a quiet place, even libraries aren’t quiet anymore, sometimes I’ve written in my car and bits of the novel were written at kids soft play places but I wouldn’t recommend that. I don’t edit as I go, just write it all out, including the rubbish bits, it’s important to keep the flow and once I’m on a roll I’ll keep writing until I’ve either got to the end of a story for a short story or the end of a scene or chapter for a novel. I don’t like to leave a scene or story half-finished, I’d rather wait until next time. I usually write a few notes at the top of the page, pointers of things I want to include but I don’t plan anything out in detail, I like to just picture the scene in my mind and then write it.

13) Tell us three interesting things about you

1/ I’m a decent table tennis player. I’ve played for my county at both junior and senior level. I spent my youth travelling around the country playing in table tennis tournaments.
2/ I suffer from acute anxiety and have frequent panic attacks.
3/ My background is in marketing. I have a management degree from Aston University and a postgrad diploma from the Chartered Institute of Marketing. I once worked for a woodland burial ground and funeral directors, selling burial plots to the general public and steel mortuary trays to funeral directors. That was a conversation stopper; ‘So what do you do?’ ‘I work for a funeral director’. Many a tumbleweed moment was had.
 Keith Gillison is 40 years old and lives in Dorset, but is originally from Birkenhead on Merseyside. He is married with two children. A graduate of Aston University and the Chartered Institute of Marketing, he spent 17 years working in marketing. He published his first novel, The Boss Killers, in 2015. He also writes short stories and flash fiction and has been published in magazines, anthologies and online.
Find out more at thebosskillers.com or follow Keith on Facebook and Twitter

Final Draft? Patience is the key…

~ ChanAtkins ~ 4 Comments

Last Friday I finally finished the final draft of my YA novel The Tree Of Rebels. Yes, yes, yes, it is done! It is finished at last! Or is it? I’ve lost count of how many drafts and rewrites it has been through now. I’ve blogged about a fair few of them! I decided to change the tense from present to past, and I also added some new scenes. Then I went through it all again, with what felt like a very gentle and enjoyable edit. Correcting typos here and there.Small corrections. Nothing major. And I finally liked it!

As I may have mentioned once or twice before, I’ve had a love/hate relationship with this novel since I first got the idea for it. I ignored the idea for a while because it would mean writing a book way out of my comfort zone. When I finally started it, I suddenly got another really good and important idea for another book, which wanted to interrupt this one. I didn’t let it, and forced myself on, which in hindsight, was probably the wrong thing to do. I do wonder if I ought to have listened to the loudest voice, put Tree of Rebels to one side and gone with Elliot Pie when he was at his most demanding…

But anyway, I didn’t. I wrote this book, and then started a second draft, sent to beta-readers, drafted again, hated it, drafted again, loved it, left it for ages while I wrote Elliot Pie…drafted it again, hated it even more and so on, and so on. It was like having a constant argument with myself. This book is brilliant! No, it’s not, it’s a total waste of time!

I’m pleased to report that during this last, final, never to be messed with again, draft, I really and truly fell in love with this book. I got the feeling I had been waiting for. Everything clicked. I knew what it was and I was proud of it. Changing the tense worked wonders, and the extra scenes I added seem to work really well too. I was so into this book by the time I finished it, I even carried on and drafted the synopsis of the sequel, and wrote the first two chapters of this!

So when will I be releasing it then?

Hmm, not yet. Because I still don’t think it is finished! I decided that after so much doubt, it would be worth sending it back to my top beta reader/editor for a final read through. I know she will be honest and scathing if she needs to be. I am curious to see what she thinks of the change in tense and the extra scenes. Waiting for her to read it will give me some head space from it, and a chance for the book to breathe. I thought this was a sensible idea. If there are any lingering typos or things that don’t make sense, they will be picked up and sorted and being patient will help me decide if it really is finished.

The problem is, I am already getting more ideas. Just little bits here and there. Just bits of dialogue, and brief scenes or moments that have suddenly popped into my head. I really didn’t think this would happen! I really did think I was done…

But I’m glad that it has, even if this does mean once it comes back, it will be getting another going over by me. You see, it’s all too easy these days to write something, do a few more drafts and then self-publish it and move onto the next one. Believe me, it is very, very tempting to do this. I have so many other books to write, but I have to resist the temptation to rush things. Patience is the key. A book is done when it is done, and not a moment before. I could release this book now and see if you like it, or I could wait to see what my favourite critic says first. I could release it after that, after any last lingering mistakes have been mopped up, or I could wait a bit longer, see if it can be any better. It’s surprising how you feel about a piece of writing if you leave it alone for a while. You might think its the best it can be, but give it a few months, during which hopefully your writing skills would have improved even more, and quite often you can already see that it can be made better. And if it can, then it should.

So, apologies folks. The Tree Of Rebels is done…but not done.

The really good news is that I have finally fallen in love with it, which is how it should be in my opinion. I’ve had a strange relationship with this book, and I’ve nearly given up on it several times. It never felt quite the same as my other books, like the connection was not quite right. But this feeling has well and truly gone now. I’m even writing some more of the sequel tonight!

 

 

Why Mother’s Day Is A Pisstake

~ ChanAtkins ~ 2 Comments

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Before I start, let me just say that it’s not just Mother’s Day that gets on my nerves, it’s all these commercialised ‘days’ we have to have. It’s the fact that you can tell what ‘day’ is approaching by what exuberant displays greet you when you walk into the supermarket. For example, my local Home Bargains shop was nothing short of a confused mess just recently when they were displaying Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and Easter all at the same time!

Loads of things annoy me about Mother’s Day. Maybe I’m bitter and cynical. Well yeah, probably a bit. I’ve had plenty of nice ones, don’t get me wrong. I’ve had plenty of those sweet little cards they help them to make at school, and I’ve had croissants smeared with jam brought up to me on a tray in bed, and I’ve had kisses and cuddles and flowers and the rest of it. But I’ve also never had a Mother’s Day where I wasn’t hanging the washing out on the line at some point, or sorting the next load out, or planning the next days lunch boxes. It’s like once the duties are performed, everything goes back to normal.

And I do think people see it as a duty. The shops tell us what we ought to be doing. They tell us what we ought to be buying and when. I was in my local Tesco yesterday and the ‘Mother’s Day’ aisle was full of bemused looking shoppers, hastily shoving bunches of flowers under their arms, as I did, whilst probably thinking exactly what I was, surely I can do better than this? It’s all so contrived, that’s the problem. It screams of tokenism to the extent that it just becomes embarrassing. It’s Mother’s Day, therefore I shall buy a pastel coloured card with flowers and butterflies on it and give it to my mother to thank her for giving birth to me way back when. What else? Okay, let’s look around. What do women like? More specifically, what do mother’s like?

This is the other thing that annoys me. It makes me want to pull out my hair. Because apparently us mothers are all the same. It doesn’t matter how old we are, or where we are from, or what we believe in or dream about, we all like flowers. And chocolates. And teddy bears. Oh, and polka dotted garden gloves. And pastel coloured watering cans. And ‘smellies’ to pamper ourselves with. And even more infuriatingly, chick lit books and rom com dvds! Grrrr!

It’s just as bad on Father’s Day. They get treated to the same assumptions. Whiskey and ‘manly’ chocolate such as Toberlone and Yorkie. Driving gloves, and footballs, and mini tools and t-shirts with slogans such as ‘I’m the Daddy’ on them. They get breakfast in bed too, cards made by the kids in the shapes of ties and cars, and then everything goes back to normal. Why do we do it to ourselves?

Now I’m sure there are people out there who put more effort in, and if so, I congratulate you. I’m sure there are husbands who put real thought into what their wife and the mother of their children would enjoy on this special day. Maybe she gets taken out for dinner, or maybe she gets a day to herself, or a voucher for a beauty treatment or some such shit. I still don’t care. I still think it’s a pisstake. I still don’t think we need these days.

It’s patronising for one thing. It’s like we’re saying; for most of the year I will take you for granted and neglect to tell you what you mean to me, but on this one special day I will do the opposite and make sure you feel spoiled. Surely we should be treating each other better on a more regular basis?

My husband and I, being the cynical pair we are, gave up on Valentine’s Day years ago. The first few years we were together we felt like we had to go along with it. We both bought soppy cards and we both scoured the Valentine’s shopping aisle for useless and pathetic suggestions. We soon realised what a complete waste of time it was. We don’t even bother with anniversary cards or presents now. What do we do instead? We grab small moments between child-rearing and working, to reminisce on how many years it’s been now, and what silly things we can remember about that night…I tend to remember music, and there are still certain songs that will make me think about meeting him and falling in love. Surely that’s enough? That, and being as good to each other as we can be.

Christmas cards is another. Why do so many trees have to die so that we can send cards to people we don’t bother with the rest of the year? I stopped buying them and sending them years ago. Tedious and pointless. I won’t be dictated to by my local supermarket. I know what time of year it is, and I don’t need their flamboyant displays of utter crap items screaming at me for months on end.

Mother’s Day is annoying because it so often ends up being a token day, full of token gestures that amount to very little. I’ve had too many where I have ended up bristling with resentment, because after all the flowers and chocolates, the daily grind goes on. In my opinion Mother’s Day should be spent in the following way;

Women who have given birth, and therefore know what is is like to carry another human around in their belly, before pushing and grunting and screaming and heaving that said human out of their nether regions, only to be then thrust helplessly into a whirlwind of sleepless nights, shitty nappies, teething and tantrums, should be able to get together with their own mother’s, minus the lovely, dear offspring.

These women, these mother’s, daughters and sisters should be allowed to get together around a kitchen table, with mugs of tea and plentiful cake. They should be left alone for as long as they require. They should not have the fear of interruption by man or child. They should be free to moan, bitch, gossip, cry and laugh with each other for as long as they need. They should be able to unburden themselves of fear, resentment, exhaustion and bitterness. They should be able to congratulate themselves on a job well done, before the day is done, and it is back to business as usual.

Tomorrow, me and my family are hosting a Mother’s Day tea party for my unsuspecting mother. She thinks she is coming over to have a cuppa with me, but actually it will be my brother and his family and my sister and hers. I’ve been baking cupcakes all day. I’m sure she will be touched and pleased, and I’m sure we will all have a lovely day. But I hope she knows when she leaves, that I feel this way about her all of the time, not just once a year. She gave me life and she worked her arse off to keep a roof over our heads. She makes me laugh with her eccentric ways and her sensitivity. I see a lot of me in her, and from the moment my first child was born, I began to develop genuine sympathy for what she went through looking after us all. Now, I know!

I hope she goes home knowing that she is always loved and appreciated, because really we shouldn’t need the greeting card industry to remind us to do it! So my advice is this. If you have a mother, go and see her. Go and spoil her. But not just tomorrow. Do it whenever you can and do it when it is least expected. Think about her dying and not being with you anymore and get your arse over there to share a cup of tea and a conversation. Life is bloody short, and if we leave it all to random, token days to tell people what they mean to us, then we’re really missing out. We’re really missing the point.