A Life in Words

The Gloriously Ugly First Draft

~ ChanAtkins ~ 11 Comments

Two days ago I finished the first draft of a new novel I have been working on. This, as you might imagine, felt wonderful. Finishing a book, albeit a scruffy, clumsy first draft, is a feeling like no other. It completes the circle, from the moment that idea first crept into your mind, to the moment you write the last few words of the last chapter, knowing it is done.

Writing a first draft is not new to me. I have written and published various other books, so I have been here before and experienced this before. But to be honest with you, I have never really taken the time to sit back and think about what it means. To savour, or appreciate the moment. I did celebrate, of course. Several glasses of wine were consumed as I hurtled towards the finish line, not daring to look back. I announced the good news on social media, danced about the house a bit and went to bed feeling really pretty pleased with myself. There was an undeniably satisfying feeling of relief as I got into bed that night. I had done it. It was over, at least for now. I had got the idea from that tiny seed stage, through to its completion, its realisation, its finish. Ahhh, it felt good.

First drafts are a funny, terrible, frightening and beautiful thing. They almost sum up the act of writing itself. The first draft is the start, the tender, doubtful beginnings. It is full of hope and promise and potential. Even when you are half way through, it still feels so new, so unknown and could change at any moment, becoming something else entirely. First drafts are lovely and ugly. They tease and torment you. As a writer, you are forever wondering if the book you are writing will ever live up to the expectations of the book you have in your head.

So what is the story of a first draft? I will tell you the story of mine, of this particular book anyway, as they all have different stories, different beginnings and came from totally different places. Quite often I can’t remember where the idea for a book came from at all.

This idea came about a year ago. I had just started writing the first draft for a YA novel called The Tree Of Rebels. As usual, this was another idea I had played with for a year or so, and now its turn to be written had finally arrived. Phew. Ready set go. I had my notebook, my ideas, my timeline, my goals and my characters. I couldn’t wait to start and I knew it was going to be real challenge, mainly because I have yet to write a dystopian novel set in the future. I knew I had a lot of work to do. A lot of serious research.

And then, out one day with the dogs, and thinking, like you do, about people, and the world, and how awful and cruel it can be, and wondering how we are ever meant to make sense of it or learn to live with it…I heard a little voice. At first I thought she was a girl, but perhaps because the main character of The Tree Of Rebels was a girl, eventually she became a boy. Elliot. Don’t ask me where his name came from either, as I do not have a clue.

Elliot was at his bedroom window, looking out at his world. It was a small, neat world, made up of small, box-like houses, and full of busy, stressed out people who scurried past his house and his life, living theirs. He watched and he listened and he was quite alone. I told him to go away. I ignored him, because I had this very important dystopian to write, you see, I had Lissie Turner’s story to tell now! But he kept coming back during that walk, and by the time I came home I had the first few paragraphs of the novel, his novel, all ready to be written. And I ran in and wrote them down. I didn’t know really what the book would be about, or what would happen, or what the themes would be, or anything, but I was getting a glimpse of him, and what he was seeing and feeling. It was annoying, I have to tell you. I had written and released four novels, and The Tree Of Rebels was next. Why did this kid, whoever he was, have to barge in now? With his comments and his statements and his character already shining through? God, it was annoying.

But how can you ignore something like that? Within days, Elliot’s character and Elliot’s world had overtaken mine, and he was in nearly all of my thoughts. I knew what his problem was. His mother was developing agoraphobia. I knew what his other problems were too. A bully at school and no father figure in his life. I knew who he was, what he looked and sounded like, how he dressed, that he was a mad Doctor Who fan, that his precious Uncle Liam was missing, presumed dead, and that he had this strong and beautiful and innocent desire to just connect with people. To just know people, talk to people, laugh and chat and spend time with people. But this would be a risky thing to do, would it not? It had to be strangers, you see. He wanted to branch out. He wanted to prove his mother wrong. And now I had her too, Laura. All the shaking layers of guilt and rage and hatred that had piled up on her over her life, and why, I knew why. And I knew that as she became more desperate, cutting herself from a world she could not bear to be part of, her son, Elliot, would do the opposite.

And then something would happen. Elliot would go missing.

A year ago, just about to start writing The Tree Of Rebels, I knew all this about other goddammn book. I can’t really complain. I am privileged to have these people invade my mind on a constant basis. What would I do without them? So I did all I could do. I made notes and character profiles, jotted down dialogue and loosely plotted the story. And then I pushed it to one side and wrote The Tree Of Rebels. Which I then had to rewrite. Then rewrite again, and so on.

Elliot just had to wait and wait. There was one point when some beta readers had an early draft of The Tree Of Rebels, and I thought, well I’ve got nothing to do until they’ve read it and got back to me! So I grabbed Elliot Pie and started writing. Of course this then got interrupted and it wasn’t until around June of last year that I could really dedicate the time to it.

And as with all my other first drafts, the process went a bit like this;

‘This is the best thing ever, I am such a good writer, I am so glad I finally have the time for this, this happens next, now this, on we go, yes, yes, yes, oh now hold on, that beginning was a bit slow wasn’t it? Let’s go back and change it a few hundred times. Okay let’s move on, it’s shit, I see that now, but it will be shit, it’s the first draft, just let it be shit and accept the shitness and just get to the end, get it done! Okay, okay, averaging half a chapter a night, always leave it hanging, so I’m excited to get back to it the next, no real blocks, just shit writing every now and again but just ignore that, and keep going, very clumsy, very clunky, ugh, don’t look, don’t look back, don’t read it, just get to the end, get to the finish line, oh my god this really is total shit, even the idea is shit! The message, what message? What am I even trying to say here? Do I want to say anything? It’s all getting confused and messy. Ugh, ugh, torture, yuk, don’t look, really this is very gross but keep going anyway, because you know what happens so just get the bare bones down, the basics, the skeleton then worry later, and oh, here we go, yes, yes, this is all making sense again now! Whoop-eeeee! Yes, because yes, because she did that because that happened and that’s why he does that, but no one knows, and this comes out later and oh yes, of course they would do that, and yes, yes, yes, this is wonderful actually, this is perfect, better than I thought it would be..oh no crap city, just stop, just give up now for the love of God! Okay I’m done. Oh shit. I did it!’typewriter-751566_1280

The best thing is knowing you didn’t give up. Knowing you did your best and didn’t get sidetracked, climbed over the walls and the humps and got around every corner and raced on to the end. Yes it is shoddy. Yes it will need sooooooo much rewriting and reworking and messing about with, just like all my other books. The first draft is just the baby. It’s really still so small and new and helpless. I’ve got to pad it out and make it grow, help it to shine. That’s when the real hard work starts! Now I owe it to the story and the characters who came to me to really, really make it as good as it can be.

But not yet.

It has to do its sitting and stewing and breathing now, just like The Tree Of Rebels did. Because I thought that book was done, and was just waiting patiently for me to whizz through Elliot Pie before I gave it its final shine. But no, not quite. Things happened to it while it was sat alone. Things changed and grew and evolved, and oh how glad I am I made it wait this long. Waiting is good. I know more now. I have seen the light!

Time to dive into the final draft of this one and make it work.  I cannot wait to see what happens to Elliot Pie’s first draft while it’s waiting though…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waiting to be Discovered, a Social Media Solution?

~ ChanAtkins ~ Leave a comment

An excellent blog post on using social media to increase your following as an indie. Well worth a read, and a great blog worth following too. I have been making notes whilst reading this!

Dennstedt's avatarExpat Journal: Postcards from the Edge

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This is my longest post ever (by far) on Expat Journal.  It is dedicated to all of my friends out there in the Indie-world, those creative souls trying to make their mark.  Agents, galleries and publishers want nothing to do with you until you’ve made it, and then they’re more than willing to take your money.  There are many ways to market yourself and sell your creative products.  Social media is just one way to get your name and talent recognized, but probably not in the way you think.  Am I making a killing as an Indie-photographer? Not really.  Do I sell my stuff on a fairly regular basis while traveling the world full-time?  Yep, I do.  I spent fifty-years in the corporate world, the last thirty as a bank Vice President and Branch Manger. After all those years I’ve developed a pretty good head for business and…

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Finding The Time and The Energy to Write, and Keep Writing!

~ ChanAtkins ~ 3 Comments

 

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Finding the time and the energy to write and keep writing!

The most common complaint I hear from other writers, is that they do not have the time or the energy to write as much as they know they should. They face numerous challenges in completing a project, often hitting brick walls where they do not write for days. Before they know it, days have turned to weeks, and it is very scary how quickly weeks can turn into months. Life takes over. Tiredness takes over. Feeling guilty takes over. And the end result is a writer who cannot write, who wants to write, but is coming up with excuse after excuse for why they cannot write. Not having enough time or energy, and real life getting in the way appear to be the three top reasons writers give for being unproductive, or for giving up on a project. So what do we do about this? How do we avoid falling into this extremely common trap? Because believe me, once you have fallen out of the writing habit, it can take years to get back into it again. Here are a few tips to help you find the time and energy to write, and keep writing!

Carry a notebook everywhere. 

Do this for multiple reasons. It will stop you forgetting ideas, as you can jot them down as soon as they pop into your head. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to hold onto an awesome idea, that slips away from you by the time you get back home! Always write it down. Use the notebook to record things you see, hear, smell and touch. Use it to write down impressions of people, snippets of conversation and anything you experience or witness in your day to day life. The more you do this, the more observant you will become. Taking notes put you in the practice of noticing things, and the more you begin to notice, the more notable ordinary things become. Observing and noting down as much as possible will enable you to become better at communicating your experiences into words. There will be things you observe that you may never have noticed before. Don’t forget, that stories can grow from the tiniest seeds. Inevitably you will start seeing stories everywhere. Once it is written down, it takes on its own creative life, and becomes  part of the reflective process. One idea will spark off another. Unconnected ideas will reach out and link arms. Like tiny spiders webs or brainstorms, connections will be made, relationships forged, and stories will merge with others and grow into something entirely new. Becoming more observant makes life, and in turn writing more extraordinary. It makes you realize that there aren’t any ordinary or mundane moments, if you get into the practice of noticing them.

Read. Write. Repeat. 

To begin, I suggest sticking to this formula as rigorously as you can, but in time, once you are in the habit of doing both, it will become more about quality than quantity. Reading makes us better writers. There is no getting around this. Think back to when you first knew you wanted to be a writer. Think back to the first time you put pen to paper and explored a story you’d kept in your head until that moment. Wasn’t it the same feeling you had when you fell in love with a book for the first time? That need to make it last, to savor it, to understand it and think about it. That longing for a sequel, or a prequel, that need to read it again as soon as you finish. Feeling like you know the characters, like you can laugh and cry with them, be yourself with them and understand what they are going through. Aren’t these the same reasons you want to write? You have to read to understand writing. If you enjoyed a book, then question why? If you didn’t enjoy a book, then ask why? Break it down and work it out. Was it the pace or the plotting, the dialogue or the characters, or the overall themes? What was it that didn’t convince you? Use great books and less than great books to help you become a better writer. This is not about copying, but it is about learning the craft. And as for writing itself, it needs to become a habit. Get used to the simple act of doing it every day, or at least nearly every day, and you will always be better than you were the day before.

Be patient in finding your voice.

This only happens if you put in the work and practice your craft. One of the reasons writers get frustrated and give up on projects, is that they are fearful of sounding like someone else. To begin with, you probably will. Undoubtedly you have your favorite books and authors, and you will have your preferred styles and genres too. There is nothing wrong with that. If you are writing, and worrying about sounding like someone else,don’t worry, just keep going. Just like everything else we learn to do in life, you learn from someone else first. Eventually, what is truly you will come to the surface. This will come with confidence and time, and confidence will only kick in once you have dedicated enough time to the craft, so don’t give up! Finding your voice is just one of the many struggles you will face as a writer, and like all of the others, you have to write through it. Just write, write, write. It does not matter if it all gets thrown away or dismissed or deleted. You are learning all the time.

Beat the first draft fears.

First drafts are emotional hell. To begin with, it is terrifying. Literally putting those first few words down can be the hardest thing you ever do. It is all there waiting for you. Blank pages. A story waiting impatiently to be told. It’s there in your head, but will your writing ever live up to what your mind imagines? You will never know if you don’t get going. Get it done. Accept the clunky, clumsy, ugly writing. Accept the inevitable plot holes and unrealistic dialogue. Just get it done, and do it every day, until it is done. There will be times when it feels euphoric. When it is all flowing perfectly and beautifully, all unfolding in front of you with barely an effort. There are days you can’t be dragged away from it. Nights when it occupies your mind and keeps you awake. And then, you will hit a slump. Or a wall. Whatever you wish to call it, it will feel impossible to get past. It’s not going right. It’s boring you. It’s gone flat but you can’t pinpoint why. You don’t know what you are doing. You take a day off. And then another. You tell yourself you have writer’s block. Not true, just get back to it! It will slow down, and it will be harder, but write yourself over that slump and through that wall. Just write it, even if it’s even more terrible than what went before. Just get it done and accept it’s rubbish. Embrace it’s rubbishness! Tell yourself you will fix it later, because you will. Dedicate a certain number of words or pages a day, and get it done.

Don’t make excuses. Don’t watch TV. Don’t be a slacker.

Okay, if you have a busy, tiring job, then of course I have sympathy for you. But you must have spare time, right? There must therefore be things you do in that spare time? Reading? Watching TV? Going out for drinks? Okay, so you need to ask yourself, which is more important? Watching TV and eating snacks? Or writing that story? Becoming a writer? Realizing your dream? Get up early. Go to bed late. Squeeze it in. Make notes in your notebook when you are cooking the dinner, or walking the dog, or taking your lunch break. If you have kids, I also have sympathy. I have four. I had three of them very close together and those were the years where my writing just stopped. I told myself I didn’t have the time or the energy. But guess what? Once they were in bed, I did have the time and the energy to watch reality TV or to read magazines. The truth was, I was out of the habit, scared and full of doubt. Since the youngest one came along, I guard my writing time fiercely. I write whenever I can, which is mostly once the youngest is in bed. I cannot do it any other way. It will not get done any other way. The truth is this; writing needs to become the thing you cannot do, and not writing needs to become impossible.

All of these things helped me find the time and the energy to write and keep writing. Through all the ups and downs, slumps and walls, blocks and self-doubts, the most important thing to remember is keep going until it becomes an addiction. Then you will know you are on the right path, and nothing will get in your way.

10 Top Tips For 2016

~ ChanAtkins ~ 2 Comments

10 Top-Tips For 2016

Another year is over, and a new one is already upon us. Did you achieve your writing goals in 2015? Or did the year pass you by too quickly, with life getting in the way of writing success? Don’t let another year fly by, without achieving your dream. Make sure you are continuously moving forward; whether it is getting that novel written, growing an audience, or keeping an eye on new trends. Here are some tips to help your writing progress in 2016.

1) Write. It sounds obvious, doesn’t it? But it so often needs saying. First and foremost, above all else, if you are a writer, or if you wish to be a writer, then you must write. Personally I advise every day, even if it is just a little bit. Just a few sentences or a paragraph, maybe just a few rough notes, or a to-do list. Write something. Even if it is a blog post or a secret diary entry detailing your fears, just do it, just write something, anything. Just write. The more you write, the more you need to write. This is true. The more you exercise your craft, the more your head will fill with more. No excuses. No moaning. Just do it. Write and don’t stop. Let it become your addiction.

2) Make time. You have to demand the time and then guard it fiercely. When I started writing again after a long break where small children and work took up all of my time and energy, I had to give up other things I thought I cared about. TV went, reading magazines went, falling asleep on the sofa after the kids were in bed, went too. It turned out I didn’t care about those things as much as I thought. Once writing had a hold of me again, that was it. It had its hooks in and was not going to let go. Good. This is how it should be and this is how it needs to be. If you only have an hour a day, that’s fine. Grab it with both hands and make it count. Whatever time you can get, hold onto it and use it every day without fail, no excuses.

3)Find a writing group. This can be online or in real life. You need people around you to kick your backside along every now and again, offer feedback and inspiration and genuine advice. Friends and family may not be useful for this! Writers who attend groups are far more productive than those who don’t.

4)Treat writing like a job. I know, it sounds boring, and writing is meant to be fun, isn’t it? Well, yes and no. It is fun and should be fun, after all it is your passion and your dream, but if you don’t treat it seriously, it won’t happen. I resisted this idea to start with, but now I embrace it entirely. Whatever time you dedicate to writing, imagine it is your job, and you need to turn up, work hard, and get results. You can’t just slack off or call in sick. You have to go, whether you feel like it or not. You will be amazed at the difference this makes. I do all my writing in the evenings, and get anything from 1-3 hours. I give myself Saturdays off, and it does feel liberating not to put the laptop on for that one evening. But the rest of the week, I mean business!

5)Write weekly to-do lists to keep you on track. Daily ones become stressful, weekly ones are more flexible. Every Sunday night, sit down and write a list of goals you would like to complete this week. From writing a few new chapters, to emailing bloggers who might review your book, whatever it is, write them down. It feels very satisfying to tick them off, and it helps keep you focused. You won’t forget to do something if you write it down. If the list is not completed by the following Friday, then just add the things you missed to the new weeks list, and carry on. This way you will always do everything you intend to do, but in a relaxed and realistic way.

6)Know Your Audience. Another idea I resisted to begin with. I wrote what came into my head, and my audience would surely find me, right? Wrong. It’s hard to sell books, very hard, and it does help if you know who you are writing for and what type of people will like your book. This does not mean that people outside of this target audience are to be ignored, or repelled. Of course not. Many of the people who have really embraced my books have been far from the type I imagined would, but still, growing an audience is hard work. There is so much to choose from out there, it helps to narrow it down a bit. Who should you aim at specifically and how should you do this?

7) Not finished your book yet? Start building an author platform anyway. I’m serious. Do it now, or you will wish you had later. This doesn’t have to be all online, this can involve real life as well, such as having business cards made up to hand out, or getting involved in local author events and groups. But online is where the bulk of it will happen these days. Don’t worry about the fact your book is unfinished. Drag people along for the ride. Start a blog and post extracts. Join Twitter and Facebook and get them linked to each other and also to your blog. That way anything you post on your author page about your writing will get automatically tweeted, and vice versa. This will help you grow your followers and likes. Look at Wattpad for posting work in hope of getting feedback. Again, share posts to your blog, Facebook and Twitter to save time. Start storyboards on Pinterest, or boards for books you like and books that are similar to yours. This can also be linked to Twitter and so on. Your book does not have to be ready and published to start growing an audience, and making connections. You can start now, and the sooner the better.

8) Go for long walks. In my experience, the best and only way to conquer writers block, is to walk. If you have a dog, take them and get away from other people, away from roads and noise and distractions. If you don’t have a dog, walk anyway. Get out in the fresh air, get close to nature, just exist, and before you know it your mind will naturally start to wander. You will find ideas coming and going in waves. Whenever I struggle with a chapter, or feel I don’t quite know a character, or if I feel intimidated by the ideas I’ve had to begin with, I walk and walk and walk. It all happens on walks! Conversations, dialogues, insights about characters and why they behave as they do, new plot twists I never saw coming, brand new books, sequels, you name it! It gets a bit stressful when it really kicks off, because I get scared I will forget something on the way home!

9) Be careful with your money. We’re not all rich, and we don’t all have lots of spare cash to spend on professional book covers, editors and promotional packages. There are so many sites out there now set up to help authors, and a lot of them want money. This is not to say you can get it all done for free, and if there is anything you should spend money on if you do have it, it is a professional editor, but do be wary. There are a lot of people making money out of writers these days, and you should think very carefully and do your research before parting with your hard earned cash. There is a lot of promotional work you can do yourself for free; you just have to be smart and consistent and determined about it. Social media is free, running a blog is free, and I would highly recommend playing around on Canva.com for graphics, book covers and so on, which is also free!

10) Think Local AND Global. Don’t neglect either. Reach out locally, hand out cards, leaflets, put up posters, join groups, seek out other creative types and keep an eye on local events, book fairs, clubs, contests and so on. It will all help to spread the word, and also help you make those all important connections. Think globally because this is the way forward, the next thing to tackle. Consider having your books translated into other languages, and in audio form as well. Keep an eye on trends in other countries, and make your book eye catching and compatible with the ever growing trend of reading on a smartphone.

Above all else, decide on your goals, write them down and stick them somewhere you can see them every day. Don’t let 2016 be another year where writing gets pushed into the sidelines and neglected. Don’t fall out of the habit, or make the mistake of thinking it is a waste of your time. Everyone deserves a dream, but making them come true takes hard work!stack-letters-447579_1280