It can’t be easy having a writer in your life. They can be rather self-absorbed, perhaps even obsessive at times. They may appear to be living in a constant daydream. They may stay up late at night, drinking coffee and pounding the keyboard. They may get a little agitated when they don’t get time to write and they can be hell to live with if the dreaded writer’s block strikes. But if your friend or relative is a writer, there are lots of things you can do to make life a little easier for them. Here are some things you should definitely avoid doing if you don’t want to annoy the writer in your life.
Don’t buy their book if you have no intention of ever reading it. This will only cause them to writhe in anxious frustration for months on end, as they battle with the urge to constantly ask you if you have read it or not. If you buy their book, please do read it. Anything else is torture for them!
Don’t read their book if you have no intention of reviewing it. Reviews are fuel for writers. Reviews make their day, their month, their year, so please know when you tell a writer you have finally read their precious book, they are now going to expect you to leave a review for it somewhere. Writers can get rather obsessed with waiting for reviews, so please don’t leave them hanging. Just a short ‘it was good’ will keep them happy.
Don’t ignore their successes, no matter how minor. Success is different for different writers. Some will have their eyes set on huge publishing deals, huge advances and after that, world fame. Others are just excited to have finished writing their book! Success means different things to them, so please don’t ignore their little milestones. Whether it is finally starting to write, finishing a project, getting a publishing contract or taking the self-publishing route, please know that it is a huge deal for them and they would love for you to be excited for them.
If their book is not for you, please tell them early on. It is always best to be honest to avoid the writer hanging on in nervous anticipation, wondering if their family member or friend or workmate will read their book. If it is really not for you, not something you would ever read in a million years, please put them out of their misery as soon as possible and tell them this. They will get it over it, I promise, and you won’t have to put up with them hinting and sighing in your direction every time you announce you need a new book to read.
If you haven’t read their work (for whatever reason) please don’t expect them to not be just a little bit hurt every time you ask for reading recommendations. They really, really want to yell; ‘my book!’ every time you do this, but they don’t want to put you in an awkward position.
Avoid certain hurtful phrases such as; ‘writing is not a real job,’ ‘anyone can write a book,’ ‘I wish I had time to sit and write a book all day,’ and so on. To a writer, their writing is their world. You may not understand it, but it’s part of what makes them who they are, and the world would be a very dull place if it were not full of writers.
Remember that their writing time is precious to them. Perhaps they have a day job and can only write in the evening or at the weekend. Perhaps they can survive on the money they make from writing, or perhaps they are retired and devote as much time as they can to their craft. Whatever time a writer has to work on their book, it is incredibly precious to them and they ought to guard it fiercely. Writers need time, space and peace to get things done. If you can allow them this, they will be much happier and calmer, and they will not annoy you so much in return.
If you follow
these simple rules, I can guarantee any writers you know will be incredibly
grateful and in the long-run they will be far less annoying to know!
It’s my favourite place and I love it here. Yes, I am currently well and truly trapped in the writing zone. For anyone who is not sure what I mean by this, imagine being given full access to the thing you love doing the most. Imagine that thing giving you pure, unadulterated joy. Imagine that thing going really, really well and filling you with feelings of satisfaction and excitement. That is how I would describe the writing zone.
Of course, I’m a writer and I write every day if I can. Sometimes life gets in the way and it doesn’t happen. Sometimes I am trapped in the editing zone for what feels like years…This is not so bad. I actually love editing and revising my books. To me, this process is really interesting, as you begin to shape and mould your first splurge of words into something that others can hopefully one day appreciate.
But I have to admit that writing the first draft of a new book is the most fun thing ever, and perhaps the most addictive. If it is going well, and I am well and truly ‘in the zone’, then the book is all I can think about. Here are some signs that I am in the writing zone, with no sign of emerging any time yet…
when I am not writing, I am thinking about writing. The book in progress dominates my every waking thought. It follows me around like a daydream I can’t escape from. If I go for a walk, the book is in my head. If I go to bed, there it is again. There is no escaping it and I wouldn’t want to.
when I am writing, I’m writing fast. Super fast. It’s been there all day teasing me and making suggestions, so when I finally get at that keyboard, it’s a bit like an explosion. Certainly, it’s messy and there will be plenty to clear up later in further drafts, but right now, speed is everything. I need to get that story out of my head!
when in the zone, time does not exist. I don’t even think to look at the time. It’s just not relevant. I will keep going until I feel there is a good place to stop and leave it for tomorrow.
I am happy. Really happy. This new book has probably been in my head for years and the book is happy to be getting its turn and the characters are really, really happy to be having their voices heard, and so I am happy too. It gives me an enormous sense of satisfaction and relief to be finally writing a book that has had to wait so long.
I’m excited. I kind of hate the start of the day, because normally writing has to wait until the evening. So I feel guilty, but can’t help wishing the day away so that I can get to the end of it and start my writing.
the writing is my reward. I can’t allow myself to have this reward until everything else is done. So, the day-jobs, the children, the pets, the husband, the house, the errands all need to be sorted out, before I can allow myself this wonderful indulgence. This is a great motivator because there is no way I am not getting my writing time!
I am distracted. There is a running joke in my house that I react to things a few minutes after I’ve heard them…and this is probably true. I’m so distracted by the writing zone, that it’s hard to focus on anything else. I get really forgetful in this state and my family certainly notice it.
I feel like myself. I think when I am sucked into the zone, I am more ‘me’ than I am at any other time. Which sort of means, I am multiple ‘me’s’ ? Slightly worrying perhaps, but I think more than anything, writing and loving writing are what make me me. It is the love that has been with me the longest and saved me the most times and provided me with so much it’s impossible to even try to explain.
So, that’s me, ‘in the zone’. I’m working on two new books, (one is the first in a four book series, and the other is the fifth in a sixth book series) at the same time. It’s utterly crazy but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I could also have titled this post; ‘5 Ways Writing Helps Me Deal With This Crazy World’, because it works both ways. Writing helps me cope with this world and everything going on in it, and the world helps my writing by providing so much inspiration and material! Win win, if you want to put a positive spin on it. I could also have called this post; ‘How The Hell Do Non-Writers Even Survive?’, because seriously, I have no idea. If I didn’t have writing, I don’t know how would I cope. Anyway, here goes. The world is a messed up place but I don’t let any of it go to waste;
Anxiety– I use the mess in my stomach and pretend I’m one of my characters. I play out the scene. I feel the churn and the dread weighing me down. That tightness in my chest. Like it’s hard to breathe. Like you don’t want to think about anything for too long or you might start crying and never stop. I take all that and put it into my characters. I become them. I play act. I change my worries and fears to theirs. I make use of it.
I explore darkness – through my characters. Their stories are nearly all ones I have stood on the edge of. I’ve stood there and peered into the darkness. I’ve wondered about it and thought about it and been tempted by so many things inside the dark. But I have my characters and I explore it through them. I don’t have to go into the darkness, because I do it through them instead.
I leave behind a legacy – For someone who is not religious, I’m not particularly scared of dying, but I do think about death a lot. Because the world is so messed up, and humans so delightfully flawed, I sometimes like to think of my books as my legacy. I’m leaving my thoughts, feelings, dreams, fears and hopes inside my books and these will live on after I do. My response to this world and this life is my writing. All my books, all my stories, my characters are all little bits of me, all part of me and who I am and when I die, my ancestors will be able to know me better than anyone, by reading it all.
I weave the craziness into my stories – I make sense of the world and politics and social issues by writing about them. Anything that angers, upsets or confuses me is woven into my stories. My books all deal with social issues and I love delving into gritty subjects in this way. It gives me a chance to sort through my own thoughts and beliefs, and this dying world gives me a lot of material.
People watching for material -It’s weird being a writer because on the one side you are naturally introverted and shy, but on the other, you are constantly baring your fragile soul to the world. You often distrust people and try to avoid them, yet they are endlessly fascinating to you and provide juicy material for characters and stories. It’s great though because you can go out into the world, soak up all the messy people then come home and expel it all through words.
So, there you have it. I don’t like this world or the people in it a lot of the time. I’m terrified of where we are all heading. But at least I’m getting the constant urge to write! What do you think, folks? Please feel free to comment and/or share. Does writing help you deal with the state of the world right now, or the worries in your own life? Or is the world happily providing you with enough material for a lifetime?
I’m sorry I haven’t blogged in a few weeks. I do actually have some draft and half-finished posts written, but have not had the time to polish them up. I’ve been very busy with work-related projects, and my own writing.
However, I wanted to write a quick post to let you know that Elliot Pie’s Guide To Human Nature has won two Chill With A Book Awards! Having won a Reader’s Award, it was automatically entered into Book Cover of The Month award for March and won that too!
I am, obviously, over the moon. Many years of work went into this novel, with numerous rewrites, and revisions. It came very close to being picked up by two traditional publishers but in the end I published with Pict Publishing, an all-women indie publishing collective. It’s just always nice to have the hard work recognised, as it gives you a confidence boost and the kick up the bum you need to keep going!
Anyway, I better get back to work and I promise I will have some new posts for you in the upcoming weeks!