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The Serialisation of Black Hare Valley Starts Next Week!

~ ChanAtkins ~ 2 Comments

Will you be coming along for the ride? (You need to be subscribed here or on Substack, not just following.)

a rough mock-up idea for the cover – photo is mine!

A few weeks ago while in the middle of fighting writers block, the re-emergence of imposter syndrome and a general frustration with writing and publishing, I had the crazy idea of serialising my current WIP, Black Hare Valley and offering it to subscribers to read for free. That was a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions, I can tell you.

My biggest fears in sharing the WIP were people copying or pirating the work, and people just not reading it at all. I am still scared of both those things but I have decided to kick fear aside and do it anyway. After all, that’s what writers do, over and over. Despite it being one of the lowest paid jobs there is, despite AI rising up to steal it from us, quite literally, despite loved ones often not being supportive, we still do it anyway. We write anyway.

I made the decision to share it in hope of the following outcomes:

  • increasing my follows and subscriptions on Substack where I’ll also be sharing it
  • increasing my follows and subscriptions here on my blog
  • enticing paid subscribers on Substack – worth a go!
  • increasing my open/read ratio on Substack
  • enticing people to read my other books if they enjoy the serialisation
  • enticing people to purchase Black Hare Valley when it is finally published
  • enticing people to purchase the rest of the series when it’s published as I won’t be serialising all of it
  • gaining honest feedback from early readers of Black Hare Valley
  • hopefully getting some positive comments that will encourage me to keep going!
  • having conversations with readers about the series
  • having fun!
  • feeling brave for trying something new

I’m posting the list here as I want to refer back to it when the experiment is over. It will be interesting to see if I achieve any of the goals mentioned ahead, and if nothing else, doing this will provide me with some blogging content as I examine what worked and what didn’t.

So, how will it work?

If you are subscribed to my blog or my Substack, you will get a new chapter every Thursday morning. Please note, you have to be SUBSCRIBED not just FOLLOWING. For those following my blog, you will still get the Friday posts as normal but to get the chapters you need to be subscribed either here or on my Substack:

https://substack.com/@chantelleatkins: The Serialisation of Black Hare Valley Starts Next Week!

The first chapter will go live on Thursday 1st May. May Day is a very significant event in Black Hare Valley so I figured it would make sense to kick it all off on may Day! I may, however, divide the chapters into two parts as they are quite long, so it might be Chapter 1, Part 1 one week, followed by Chapter 1, part 2 the next week. I will also include the rough sketches for each chapter to help bring the town alive for you, and the first instalment will also have a map of the town attached.

I am actually really excited about this. It feels brave at least! It feels like I am doing something, being proactive and trying something new.

Black Hare Valley is probably best described as British Folklore Horror, so if that sounds like your kind of thing, I really hope you’ll come along for the ride!

I’m Having A Huge Crisis of Confidence

~ ChanAtkins ~ 6 Comments

But I am determined to get through this…

Image by Jakub Kopczyński from Pixabay

A few weeks ago I wrote here and on Substack about suffering writers block for the first time in my life. I was able to recognise the signs and the symptoms I’ve spent the last decade helping my students through. As a creative writing tutor, dealing with other people’s writers block has been extremely common. I had all the classic signs and was procrastinating like hell. I was even starting to dread my evening’s writing – something that is not like me at all.

I was scrolling through my phone, opening up new tabs on my laptop and scrolling through various feeds. I was ‘checking’ things like emails and my bank account, when I really didn’t need to. In short, I was putting off writing. And when I did open up that blank page, whether it’s here on my blog, a new story on Medium or a new post on Substack, I was faltering. Hesitating. I was finding it hard.

There were a few reasons for this and I did manage to get through it. I even managed to push through and finish my current work-in-progress, which was the Black Hare Valley diary style companion book.

But the feeling of being disconnected to writing has not gone away and in all honesty, it is making me feel sick. So I decided to come here and be honest about it. This blog was the very first thing I shared my writing on. Way before I published any books, and a whole decade before I discovered things like Medium and Substack, I was just here. Writing about writing, writing about life. Just writing.

If I am going to be really honest about this situation, then I have to face some uncomfortable truths, and facing those would be easier if I thought I had a solution, a way forward. The thing is, I don’t. Except for to keep trying…

The truth is I am having a huge crisis of confidence when it comes to writing. I am doubting myself like never before. I am getting ideas that I fail to follow through on. I am starting stories, poems and essays and not finishing them. I am reading and editing current WIPs and hating every word. I am feeling like an imposter, all these years later. If I am really, really honest, I am feeling like a loser. A failure.

I don’t want to harp on about why. I have covered this in other posts. I think the main issue is that all these years and books later, I am still no further along, at least not in sales and reviews. I know, I know, I shouldn’t fixate on them. I love writing and would do it anyway. I know that success can be measured in other ways, such as my writing improving, or just the amount of work I have produced.

But I don’t know. It doesn’t feel enough. I am a few years away from turning fifty and I cannot help feeling left behind somehow… Unimportant.

I don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for me or to offer advice, by the way. I am just returning to this blog in the manner in which it started. Me, offloading my thoughts and feelings. Me, trying to figure things out. It helped back then so I am hoping it will help now.

Two weeks ago I blogged about building an author platform and whether you should scrap it and start again if it’s not working. I guess this post is related to that question. Last week I blogged about whether I should serialise my WIP on here, Substack or Medium. I kind of want to but I am scared.

The reasons to do it come from the author platform query. If it’s not working, try something new. Is it time, for example, that I did try a new approach? Maybe offering my writing for free will bring in new readers, who will then go on to purchase my other books. Maybe it is worth a try,

But my biggest fear is still no one reading it…

I can’t imagine how horrible that would feel after everything.

Things continue to be a shitshow over on Medium. If my earnings go any lower, I will need to rethink my membership. Just months ago I was making hundreds every month and it gave me such a confidence boost! I felt like a real writer! I even saw an uptick in my book sales.

Now I feel like I am questioning everything I do. I guess I need a confidence boost from somewhere and serialising my WIP and offering it for free could be the way to do it…

Or it could backfire horribly…

Still, I suppose that is the worst that can happen and if it did? I would have something to blog about for a while!

Let me know what you think in the comments. Could giving work away like this bring in new readers and give me the boost of interest I need right now? Or could it make things worse?

Medium Gave Me What 12 Years of Publishing and 23 Books Couldn’t

~ ChanAtkins ~ 4 Comments

And then it took it away again…

Image by rawpixel from Pixabay

It’s coming up two years since I joined the writing platform Medium. For years, various author friends had mentioned it, enthused about it and encouraged me to join, but I resisted because I didn’t think I had the time. Almost two years ago a writer friend messaged me again after reading one of my blogs and finally persuaded me to join Medium by asserting that my blog topics and style were just the sort of thing that did well on Medium.

I gave in and joined and I quickly discovered he was right! Once I had joined the Partner Programme and was eligible to earn from my essays, articles, stories and poems, I found the boosts, the positive comments and the money came flowing in.

I was overjoyed. I felt validated. I felt like a real writer.

You’d think that after 12 years of publishing and 23 books released, I’d feel like a real writer, but the truth is, I don’t. Not much has changed for me during those 12 years. I have never had the spare money to throw at advertising my books, but I have done everything they tell you to do to get your books noticed. One of the main pieces of advice I recall reading at the time, was to get on with writing the next book, because once you have more books out there, it all gets easier.

I have never found that to be true. From the moment I published The Mess of Me in 2013, to the moment I released its sequel The Mess Of Us in 2025, I have made a few sales a month. Yes, some months are better than others, and I have never, ever had a month without sales. I am told that for an indie author with no advertising budget, that is not too shabby. And I do agree – with the billions of other books to compete with out there and the social media algorithms wanting you to pay to be seen, it is extremely hard to get sales and make it.

A few years back I reached out to some successful indie authors to ask what their secret was. The answer was not surprising – money. These authors were able to spend hundreds of pounds marketing their books at the start and now they don’t have to. They’ve made a name for themselves, and gained a loyal following.

I am constantly shouting into the abyss, despite how hard I work, despite how many books I write and publish, despite overwhelmingly positive reviews and a handful of awards… I cannot do any better. I am stuck right where I was at the start.

So, although I am still as addicted to writing as ever, and I will never stop as long as I have these ideas in my head, I am honestly hard-pressed to feel like a real writer most days. It doesn’t help that my close family and friends don’t give a shit and refuse to do the one thing they could do to support me in my life.

You can imagine how elated I felt when Medium started rewarding me so quickly. I was so happy! People were reading and commenting on my work. I was getting boosted regularly. Somehow, I was doing it right! And I was getting paid! I was making extra money, more than I had dreamed of to be honest. It made a massive difference to our finances and I even started thinking about putting some away and using it to better market my books.

Then in January, everything changed.

No one knows why and as far as I can tell, the answers are still not terribly forthcoming. Views, reads and earnings plummeted. At the same time, AI slop, bots, scammers and spammers were going through the roof and basically ruining it for everyone. Some say the drop in earnings is a reflection of Medium getting to grips with all that… But I don’t know.

I wasn’t too bad off in January because I’d been boosted a few times in December. January was awful. I barely made anything, and February was even worse. No boosts – which is a shame but not the be all and end all. I once made $15 on a short story that wasn’t boosted. It would take me a long time to make $15 from my books. No kidding.

By the time March arrived I felt like giving up. Millions of writers had jumped ship to Substack and I did the same, though I kept my Medium account. I still posted in February, but not as much. I suppose I had a crisis of confidence. I kept taking it personally. What had I done wrong? Had my writing declined in quality? Was the stuff I wrote just not wanted anymore? I still can’t figure it out.

Substack is great, by the way, and is shaping up to be one of my favourite places to hang out. It’s newsletters, any kind of writing, and social media all wrapped up in one. It took me a little while to get myself settled in, but at the moment I am posting an end of the month author newsletter, an end of the week round-up, and any poems or short stories I would normally put on Medium, I now put on Substack first.

Substack is a lot of fun but it is not as easy to make money there. Money is raised from having paid subscribers. I feel grateful enough to have any subscribers, whether there or here on my trusty old blog. To ask them to pay seems a lot.

I’ve set mine up for paid but have no paid subs yet and I don’t expect to get any for a long time. Still, I am happy to have almost 100 subscribers who I really hope are genuinely interested in me and my books. Let’s see what happens.

Back to Medium – I am not ready to give up on it just yet. It was foolish to ever rely on it for an income, and I didn’t, not really. It was just very handy extra money that made life easier for a bit. I am hanging around to see what happens, and like everyone else, I guess I am trying to crack the code again.

I decided to up my game in March and my content has increased back to my usual levels. It’s not making a difference so far and at this rate it is soon going to be hard to recoup the $5 you pay to be a member.

It makes me feel sad, in all honesty. All I ever wanted in my life was to be a writer. I am a writer and on good days I am incredibly proud of myself, my books, and the work I put in. I couldn’t give up writing, if I tried. It’s just what I do. It’s who I am.

But for a while there, Medium made me feel like a real writer. You know, someone whose words get read by hundreds, if not thousands of people. Someone who uses writing money to pay the bills. It was nice while it lasted but now I am right back where I began.

There had to be an answer somewhere. I guess I will keep on looking.

Giving up is not an option. And for all its faults and ups and downs, I will continue to publish writing on Medium. Writing there has given me an outlet for other types of work, such as essays, articles and poems, and like I always tell the kids I work with, writing in many formats and writing as often as you can, is how you get better.

I’m in it for the long haul.

Social Media Fatigue, AI Slop and the Enshittification of the Internet

~ ChanAtkins ~ 5 Comments

I’ve Had Enough – But Where Do We Go From Here?

Image by TyliJura from Pixabay

I learnt a new word this week: enshittification.

I came across it in an article and it struck such a chord I looked it up. Wikipedia describes it as: “Enshittification, also known as crapification and platform decay, is a pattern in which online products and services decline in quality. Initially, vendors create high-quality offerings to attract users, then they degrade those offerings to better serve business customers, and finally degrade their services to users and business customers to maximize profits for shareholders.”

And wow, doesn’t that just sum up the late stage of capitalism we are in right now? Late stage capitalism = end of the world, if you’re feeling really gloomy.

But in all seriousness, it kind of adds up to that, doesn’t it? As the above quote explains, huge companies, the elite, the ultra rich, the CEOs and shareholders, the governments, the rulers and the polluters are paying no heed whatsoever to the plight of the world, the natural environment or human suffering. It’s as if they can see the burning end coming and are trying to hoard as much wealth and security as possible in preparation for when end days really arrive. They’ll be fine in their bunkers while everything collapses around the rest of us.

But let’s go back to my new favourite word. I’d been feeling this way about social media for some time. I even wrote a poem on Medium about it and I’ve posted it at the end just for fun. I recently read a book called The Way Home by Mark Boyle, which is about one man shunning the modern world and technology to live in a self-made cabin in the woods and survive by himself. By the time I’d devoured it I wanted to do the exact same thing myself. I soon realised I couldn’t, of course. You need money to buy land and be left alone. Plus, how could I sell my books or get paid for my writing if I gave up technology? I am trapped. We are all trapped.

That depressed me but I decided to fight back by cutting down my use of tech. I’ve started leaving my phone behind, for example. No, I don’t mean when I leave the house, I don’t have the guts for that yet, but I mean when I move from room to room. Yes, like a lot of us, that’s how glued to my phone I normally am. It’s always in my back pocket. It’s an addiction, let’s be honest.

But it’s an addiction that we all seem to hate and grumble about constantly. Twitter, now known as X, has seen a huge exodus to rival Bluesky in response to Elon Musk’s support for Trump. That includes me, by the way. Facebook has just announced they’re getting rid of the fact-checking facility. So, in the name of free speech, we’ll now be subjected to a tidal wave of lies and misinformation, not to mention hate speech and more political interference from certain wealthy quarters.

Facebook has been declining for some time too and I can see it soon going the same way as X. It is my intention to start building my content up on other platforms from now on.

Medium was a lifeline for a while. In a few months I’ll have been on there for two years and for the majority of that time it has surpassed my expectations. It’s paid me for my writing, rewarded me for my words, made me feel appreciated and valued. But then AI came along and ruined it all. These days Medium is fast becoming another platform I need but actively loathe going on.

All right, it’s not that bad yet. I’m getting good at spotting, blocking and reporting the huge amount of spammers, scammers and bots that now stalk it, but it’s still depressing, not to mention time consuming to have to do this. Reads, views and earnings are down for everyone. People are leaving in droves. It’s becoming impossible to determine what is human written and what is AI generated and Medium didn’t seem to be doing anything to discourage the barrage of AI slop, until today that is. I’ve just edited this blog post and luckily before I published it, because Medium have just emailed its subscribers updating them on their approach to AI slop, spammers and scammers.

I felt a huge sense of relief reading the email. They do seem to be very much aware of the frustrations we’ve been having, even down to the generic ‘nice’ or ‘good’ or ‘follow me’ comments we get on our articles from people who have not read them. The rules for Medium are clearly presented as follows, and anyone who breaks them is being suspended and/or removed. Yay!

  • creating multiple accounts to engage with yourself and generate earnings
  • using responses solely to drive attention to your stories with the intention of creating reciprocal earnings
  • writing responses, clapping, following, or highlighting solely to generate earnings
  • using AI-generated content to earn money for stories and responses in the Partner Program

I don’t know where writers go from here. I sometimes feel like our time is running short. Why will anyone hire a real human writer if they can get AI to do the job for them? Stories, poems, essays, articles, copy, ghost-writing, you name it, AI can do it.

And it was already hard enough for writers, both trad published and indie. Hard and getting harder. So, what do we do? Where do we go?

Well, we don’t give up, that’s for sure. We seek out better places. For me, that means returning humbly to the safety of my blog. I am now adding my blog link to every piece I publish on Medium and since joining Bluesky, I am also cross-posting my blog pieces to there. My blog is mine and I control it. That’s something to value these days and I predict the humble blog will see a rise in popularity and usage in the next few years as writers turn away from the enshittification of social media platforms.

I’m on Substack but need to up my game. I’m still working out how best to use it, because although it is tempting to repost Medium and blog pieces there, this seems a bit dull. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll use it to serialise my next book? I’m not sure. At the moment I’m just using it for my newsletter and I’ve only posted two so far, so there is work to be done.

Bluesky so far is mostly a breath of fresh air. We’ll see though. I’ll definitely be posting there more often and if it takes off along with Substack, then I predict I’ll use Instagram and Facebook far less.

That’s my way of handling it anyway. We can’t give up, that’s for sure. Though I truly felt like it when I was told by one of the kids in my writing clubs this week that their teacher had been showing them how to use AI to write stories. They all thought this was wonderful while I was horrified. They couldn’t understand my horror so I changed the subject. They’re too young for me to rant at but I wanted to ask them what they thought would happen to me teaching them writing, if they could use AI to do the same thing? I’d be out of a job, surely?

I also wanted to ask them if they didn’t see it as cheating, because I do. We’ve got this far without AI churning out stories and poems for us. Why are we so quick to hand our imagination over to huge nameless companies? And yes I know that tools such as Grammarly and even the spell check function on Word are technically AI, but, and you can fight me on this, using a tool to check your spelling and grammar, is not the same as using a tool to form a sentence or a paragraph for you.

It frustrates me. Writing should be hard! It should take your blood sweat and tears! It should enrage and frustrate you because once you get through that and figure it out for yourself, it will excite and thrill you. Can you say the same thing about AI? I doubt it. When you are praised for a piece of writing, can you really take the credit? Can you really feel proud?

Pride. Imagination. Working through those humps and blocks. Thrashing out ideas. Rearranging sentences. Cutting out repetitive words. Are we really going to let AI do the hard work for us?

Well, I’m not.

I’m a writer and I write and I will continue to do so even if things continue to get harder.

What are your thoughts on all this? I’d love to know so feel free to drop a comment…

Sick Of Social Media

I’m sick of social media
it makes me feel sick
dehydrated, disconnected
draining my empathy
til all that I can see
is how I don’t want to be
so please don’t message me
don’t chase me up
don’t hound me down
don’t send me a reel
or assume my time is yours to steal
don’t leave me a voice-note
don’t tell me how to vote
don’t message me a random link
and expect me to click it
don’t pretend to know anyone
don’t pretend you are having fun
don’t say things to strangers online
that would get you battered in real life
don’t send thoughts and prayers
don’t pretend that you care
or that your sympathy isn’t reserved
for some countries more than others
don’t ask me to follow you
don’t assume I want to know you
don’t offer me a service
or expect me to want this
don’t assume I am interested
or that your life has me invested
I’m sick of social media
it is making me sick
dehydrated, disconnected
blunting my sympathy
til all that I can see
is who I don’t want to be