The Best Life Advice I Ever Had Came From A Character I Created: Prove Them Wrong, A Mantra For Misfits

This article was previously published on Medium!

It’s probably a bit weird to take life tips from a character you created yourself, but hey, I’m a writer, and we all know how weird they are. Besides, my characters are real to me. I talk to them every day, play their scenes like movies in my head at night, and yes, I take life advice from them. Why? Because they’re the best friends I never had and they’re right.  

Let’s jump back to the beginning.

Back to me, aged twelve: painfully shy, chubby; always the odd one out, at home, at school, or even just walking down the street. I was already addicted to writing and much preferred it to real life. Every day I’d run home from school, dash up to my bedroom, put on my favourite music and start writing.

At aged twelve, I had this one story I was totally obsessed with.

You know what it’s like when you’re a kid of that age and you really fall in love with a band? Or a song? Or an actor on TV? You obsess over them, paste their posters to your bedroom wall, watch everything they’re in or buy every album they release? They’re all you can think about?

Well, that was me and this story.

And I was kind of ashamed of it. My family and friends knew I loved writing and some of them vaguely knew what sort of stuff I was working on, but the gist of it, the details and, more importantly, the characters, were all mine. I felt very protective of them, like they were my guilty secret. The extent of my obsession was embarrassing to me.

I wrote the story aged twelve and it was the longest story I’d written so far. It was hand-written at the first, scribbled onto lined notepaper and held in a ring-binder folder. I showed it to my English teacher at school and got a merit certificate in assembly. I was very, very proud of it. When I saved up and bought my electric typewriter, I painstakingly rewrote it again and printed it out.

Oh boy, did I feel like a real author then!

I rewrote that book again and again. I just couldn’t leave it alone. I’d start other stories, sometimes very similar ones, but I’d always go back to that one. Every night I’d watch my characters in my head, listen to them talk and come up with more scenes. I did a big rewrite aged sixteen and another aged nineteen and finally, when I was in my thirties, I realised time was running out and I needed to get it done.

I rewrote it again, published it and before I knew it, it had grown into a five-book series which now has a spin-off book on the way. The series is also part of a bigger universe of inter-connected books.

So, you can probably see by now how obsessed I was with these characters and this story.

I guess, as a lonely, awkward, introverted weirdo of a kid, I found a way to belong. I built my own world and filled it with friends.

Anyway, on to the life advice.

There is a scene in the first book where my main character, Danny, is feeling defeated and negative. It’s partly because of his home-life and it’s partly because he and his friends have been stereotyped as bad kids and troublemakers in their town. Because of this, when he and best friend Michael try to secure lawn-mowing work to make their home-lives easier, they are refused by everyone they ask.

Both boys have a rough time at home. Both struggle at school. Both are obsessed with the music of the time. (Early nineties.) They are the best of friends and throughout the series they go through some incredibly difficult, scary and dark times together.

Through it all, Michael is always the positive one. The optimist. Danny suffers from darker thoughts and is drawn to self-destruction.

When complaining about his life, his family, and the posh people in town who won’t let them cut their lawns, Danny is at a very low ebb. He is feeling miserable and thwarted by everything.

Michael teases him, laughs at him and tells him to stop complaining.

‘Prove them wrong,’ he says.

Three simple words but they have stuck with me ever since. Three simple words that I wish someone had said to me when I was a confused and troubled teenager. Three simple words I put into the mouth of a fictional character created in my own mind. Three words I live by every day.

Prove them wrong.

In many ways, those three words form the main theme of the books. I didn’t know that at the time, aged twelve. They were just the type of words that Michael would say to cheer Danny up. But throughout the books, Michael stays true to his advice and refuses to give up on Danny until he believes it too. If they think you’re a troublemaker, he says to Danny, prove them wrong. If your mother thinks you are stupid, prove her wrong. If this town thinks you will never amount to anything, prove the whole damn place wrong. 

Prove them wrong. I think about those words all the time. Its not about revenge or holding grudges, it’s about holding your head up high and sticking to your values, your beliefs and your dreams.

When I was a kid, people tried to talk me out of being a writer. People laughed at me, ridiculed me and didn’t believe in me. I was an extremely sensitive child and by the time I entered my twenties, I had given up on writing. My dreams had been eroded by real life and the pressure to be sensible and get a real job.

I didn’t allow myself to think much about writing, but every time I did, I felt so sad and hollow inside, like a chunk of what made me who I was had been clawed out.

It took a while, but Michael’s words, his advice, eventually won me over. He was right all along, after all. When people think badly of you, look down on you, judge you or laugh at you, the very best thing you can do is prove them wrong.

Do it anyway.

Do it for you, so that you can smile when you think of the thing that you love, the thing that defines you, the thing you would always rather be doing, the thing that makes you, you.

Do it anyway and prove them wrong.

Throughout my life that has been the perfect mantra for a misfit like me.

Thanks for reading! If you are interested in Michael’s advice and the story behind it, here is a link to the first book in the series. Please note that I am currently revamping this series and adding fresh front matter to the books with a suggested reading order for the connected books in this universe. That should not impact your enjoyment should you read them now though!

https://amzn.eu/d/cYlh2AQ: The Best Life Advice I Ever Had Came From A Character I Created: Prove Them Wrong, A Mantra For Misfits

10 Types Of Writers: A Tongue-In-Cheek Analysis of Different Types of Writers

This is an article previously published in The Honest Perspective publication on Medium.

Image by tookapic from Pixabay

I’ve been writing and publishing for over ten years now, and during that time I’ve also worked with adult writers when I’ve run writing groups, workshops and projects. Added to that I’ve always found the indie writing community a particularly friendly and supportive community — so I feel like I’ve come across many different types of writers and I often pause to consider what type of writer I am. Like everything, although we all write, not all writers are the same. Far from it. Here is a little tongue-in-cheek run down of the ten different types of writer I’ve noticed over the years. Which one do you think is like you? Or can you think of any other types to add to the list?

  1. The Would-Be-If-I-Had-Time-Writer: I came across this one a lot when I first started getting my work out there. It usually comes from people who’ve never mentioned wanting to write before, but when you tell them that you do, they sigh longingly, roll their eyes in barely disguised envy and lament the fact that as much as they would love to write a book, they just don’t have the time. They are simply far too busy. Their life is without a doubt, a million times busier than yours. They can assert without any doubt that they will simply never ever have the time to write a book and they’ll look at you rather accusingly and say things like, ‘You’re so lucky you have the time for that! Wow, I wish I had the time to sit around writing all day.’
  2. The-Wanna-Be-Who-Won’t-Ever-Do-It-Writer:This one is similar to the one above but they don’t moan about not having enough time, not as much anyway, and they don’t passively-aggressively suggest you have way more time on your hands than them either… This writer wants to write; this writer has great ideas and natural talent. I came across this writer all the time when I ran my evening writing group. They were great at quick writing prompts in session but week after week, they’d come back saying they hadn’t written anything else. They wanted to, but something kept getting in the way. I assume a mix of things: lack of time, lack of support, lack of confidence for starters. Some of them get past this eventually and don’t look back but far too many never do and they never do get around to writing that thing in their head.
  3. The-Write-But-Never-Finish-Because-The First-Draft-Has-To-Be-Perfect-Writer: I know a few writers like this. They’ve got ideas, they can write, they can plot, they can commit to the process of putting pen to paper but they are too much of a perfectionist to ever get it finished. They’ll write a chapter and go back over it, again and again and years later they are still working on the same piece. Often these writers are committed planners too. They’ve more than likely either got a spreadsheet or a notice board covering in linked up post-it notes. They’ll have intricate character bios and tons of research on the go. No stone will be left unturned for this meticulous scribe. But they can’t let go of perfection and ultimately that gets in their way.
  4. The-Finish-But-Never-Publish-Because-They’re-Too-Scared-Of-Rejection-Writer: Ouch. This used to be me. I’ve written stories since I was a child and I wrote my first full length book at aged 12. I wrote obsessively all through my teens and my twenties but it wasn’t until I reached my mid-thirties that I felt brave enough to share my work. I feel for these writers, the sensitive types. They’ve probably been belittled or ridiculed by someone at some point. They compare themselves to others far too much. They’re scared to try in case they fail and have to deal with the humiliation of not ‘making it’, whatever that might mean.
  5. The-One-Idea-Only-Writer: There are two types of this kind of writer. The writer who has one amazing book idea once in their life and goes all out to write it, perfect it and publish it and then never does it again. They don’t really want to be a writer. They just had that one good idea they couldn’t let go. They probably rolled it around in their heads for years before they took the plunge and got it done. They’re happy with that, more than happy, but they never want to do it again. The other type is similar but they do want to do it again. That one idea leads them to another idea, and before they know it, they are off again. It’s still just the one idea at a time though, which is something I envy, to be honest.
  6. The-Takes-Years-And-Years-To-Write-Each-Book-Writer: This writer is similar to the perfectionist writer mentioned above. They are very meticulous, and very into the planning process. They may very well spend years researching their book before they ever start writing it. They probably go on road trips to all their locations and spend hours searching books and the internet for accurate research. There is nothing wrong with this at all — the finished product is usually worth the wait. These writers are problematic for impatient readers though as they often have to wait a very long time for the next book to land.
  7. The-Has-Millions-Of-Ideas-But-Never-Finish-Any-Writer: I think we’ve all been this writer at some point, right? Especially when we were younger? It’s the most common thing I notice in working with young writers and it seems the younger they are, the less likely they are to finish a story before a new idea hijacks them. There’s nothing wrong with this. I think its just a phase writers go through to figure out their own style and voice and eventually they find the story they’ll stick with, the one they’ll get addicted to.
  8. The-Writes-Only-Occasionally-Writer: In some ways you could narrow this list down to just two types of writer: the one who writes constantly, (see below) and the one who just writes every now and then when they feel like it. They still get the job done but they’ll have months off between projects and not write a single, solitary thing. I presume these writers find the act of writing a bit like self-imposed homework. They know they’ve got to put the work in to get a book written, but they’d like a break from it every now and then.
  9. The-Writes-Obsessively-And-Constantly-Writer: This writer has really got it bad; like a full on addiction. They don’t need to be advised to write every day because they’d write all day and night if they could. There is nothing this writer would rather do than write. They think about it all the time. They’re probably a mal-adaptive daydreamer. They’re in their own little world and always have been but don’t try to find them, they won’t like that. This writer suffers if they are kept away from their writing. They’re sad without it; they don’t feel like them. They have to write. Writing is everything. They look forward to their writing time and guard it ferociously. They have far too many ideas for books and not enough life to write them all, so they write, write, write. Publishing and marketing are on the agenda for this obsessive creature but they come second to the actually writing. They would still write even if no one else ever read it.
  10. The-Snobbish-Only-Traditional-Publishing-Counts-Writer: Often, these types started as the ‘suddenly had a good book idea’ type. They never considered writing before but they’ve got such a good idea, they’ve just got to try. They do everything right, this writer. They join a writing group, maybe even do a few courses. They follow all the advice and tips out there. They get it done. They put the work in. And for them, only a traditional publishing deal will do. Yes, yes, they’ve heard all about self-publishing but don’t mention it again, please. It’s not for them. They’re doing things properly, thanks very much. Self-publishing is for rejects only, right? They shudder at the thought.

Personally, I’m number 9 these days but I have been a few of the others in the past and I think most writers probably shift from one type to another in time.

What about you? Are you any of these types? Do you think there are more types to add to this list?

Please remember, it’s just a bit of fun and is not intended to cause any offence.

My Medium Experience Updated Plus Top Tips For Success

Image by Anna from Pixabay

Two months ago I posted about my experiences on the writer’s platform Medium, so far. To briefly recap, I first joined the site in April – finally giving in after other writers had been suggesting I try it for some time. I signed up to the paid membership because I knew if I didn’t fully commit, it would fall off my radar and get ignored. Knowing I was paying five dollars a month to the platform would, hopefully, encourage me to be active.

It did, though for April and May I was very quiet – time was spent just adding my About Me story and reading and researching publications that would be a good fit. You need to reach 100 followers to meet the Medium Partner Programme criteria, so that was another incentive to read, follow and comment on other writer’s work. I was pleased to discover there are many excellent writers on the site and it was not the chore I had envisioned reading and enjoying articles. I got to 100 followers by August and received my first payment from Medium in October. This was just over two dollars and was payment for what I had written in September.

In November my payment was just over eight dollars. At this time, I was enjoying the platform so much, I hadn’t actually examined my stats page yet. However, when I received a payment in December for $189 dollars, I was astounded! Luckily for me, I had been boosted in October, and again in November. Your story, if written well and received well, may be chosen to be boosted by the editors of the publication you had it published in. Looking at my stats, it’s obvious that while some of my poems and pieces of flash fiction have made me a few cents or a few dollars, my boosted pieces have made me a lot more. So, the trick is to get boosted if you can, but I’ll come to that in a bit.

I didn’t expect my January payment to be the same but it turned out to be even more. I was paid $249 dollars which is around £193. Amazing! Looking at my stats, I was reminded that in December I was boosted three times.

So far in January, I have published eleven pieces and obviously, my aim was to get boosted again if I could. I was delighted to discover I was boosted just last week! Now, that doesn’t automatically secure me a large payment. It still needs more reads and responses and at the moment it has less than my other boosted pieces.

The stats page is fascinating and I am learning more about Medium every day, but here is a quick run down of my top tips so far!

  • Once you’ve reached 100 followers and posted a certain amount of content, you can start getting paid so this is when you need to start paying attention to your stats if you haven’t already. It shows you how many reads, views and responses each published piece had and it shows you how much each piece earns you. This should help unravel the mystery of why some pieces make you more money than others.
  • I suggest submitting to publications. That is what has worked for me so far, but I am sure other writers might say different. There are millions on there so it’s just a case of looking for writers and content that are a good fit with your own. For example, I like writing about women’s issues such as motherhood, family relationships and the perimenopause, so Modern Women is a great fit for me. There are other similar publications and you can ask to write for as many as you like. In terms of poetry, I am a writer for three poetry only publications, and two that are a mix of poems, stories and articles. I submit to particular ones depending very much on the style, format and content of my poem.
  • Research the publications! Very important. Read as many of their published pieces as you can. Get a feel for their writers and their readers. Check their submission guidelines very carefully. Once you feel your work would fit in, ask to be a writer and hopefully you will be added. Some are stricter and fussier than others. Very large publications obviously have a bigger readership but I assume that makes it harder to be boosted, I’m not sure. At the moment, I am satisfied with how it is working out for me in the eight smaller pubs I write for. At some point, I may try getting added to bigger ones but at the moment, its not a high priority. I am still finding my way and don’t want to give myself too much pressure.
  • Make sure you format correctly! Publications have specific requirements but formatting your title and sub-title correctly are universal, so remember to do that. You simply highlight the first letter of your title then click on a big T to make it a title. For the sub-title, you do the same but click on the smaller t. You then need to add a main image and it gives you an option to upload one of your own, one from Unsplash or one from elsewhere. Make sure you credit it and make sure it fits with your piece and draws the reader in.
  • Pick alluring titles that make people curious to know more. My boosted titles so far have been: Less Is more: The Most Important Lesson The Perimenopause Has Taught Me; An Emotional Haircut: At Age 45, I Finally Like My Hair (my most read and highest paying piece!) I Was The All-Seeing Eye: But Who Saw Me? ; Take It From A True Cry-Baby: It’s Far Healthier To Let It Out Then To Keep It In; One Toothbrush: A Tale of Days Gone By (previously published on this blog!); and finally, I See You, Single White Eyebrow Hair: And You Don’t Scare Me At All (again, previously published here, updated, shortened and reworked for Medium.)
  • Make sure you send your piece to the right publication! Know your pubs and know them well.
  • Leave it overnight before submitting – I’ll write a piece, read it through, edit a bit, read it again and then leave it overnight. The next day I will always find bits I want to sharpen up or edit.
  • Be authentic and write from the heart – This is just what has worked for me so far. When I look at my boosted pieces, and other articles or poems that have done well on Medium, I can see a common thread; writing from the heart. I would say my style and content on Medium is exactly the same as it is here on my blog. My essay style pieces are usually about life, relationships, obstacles, mental health, parenting, etc. I write from the heart, I write as me. I don’t try to be anything I am not. I don’t try to impress anyone. Writing advice style articles are popular but there are so many… I’ve earned a bit from these sorts of pieces, but the ones that have got me the most views and earned me the most money are the universal ones, the ones people can relate to. It works both ways. The pieces I am more likely to comment on or highlight are the ones I can relate to. Everyone wants to feel understood, after all. So, if you’ve got something to say, a point to raise, a life obstacle to discuss, then do it.

I am still learning a lot about Medium and I’m sure I’ll update my progress again at some point. I can definitely see it as something I want to stick with though – something I am happy to devote time and energy to.

My 2023 Goals Vs The Reality

It’s a yearly tradition for me to lay out my goals for the year ahead just before New Years Eve, and then almost a year later, refer to each goal and see how well I did!

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

So, here are the 8 goals I set myself for 2023 and the results.

  1. Start releasing ‘The Day The Earth Turned’ series – Achieved! As planned I released book 1: Summer in June, and book 2: Autumn in October. Book 3: Winter is all set up and ready to be released in January, hopefully followed by book 4: Spring in March or April.
  2. Finish ‘At Night They Played In The Road’ (working title, I still can’t quite decide) and send to editor – Achieved! In fact, I recently received the edits from my wonderful editor and will start working on them very soon. I hope to release it around June 2024.
  3. Publish ‘Days End’, the third book in the Fortune’s Well trilogy – Achieved! The whole trilogy is now published and available in ebook, paperback and hardback!
  4. Keep adding to my new short story and poetry collection – Achieved! I haven’t added a lot and this collection is nowhere near ready for publication but I have managed to add a few new poems to it this year.
  5. Launch Chasing Driftwood Books – Achieved! (Sort of) While we are not ready for any kind of official launch, Chasing Driftwood Books is a thing in motion. There are now eight authors in our indie collective and we are currently taking part in a Christmas calendar countdown together. The website is in progress and our mission is clear. Hopefully this time next year we will have fully launched!
  6. Keep improving my vegetable plot and self-sufficiency in general – Failed! Well, mostly. Unfortunately, my vegetable plot ended up being very neglected this year, despite my good intentions. I have realised and accepted that I just don’t have time for it. I made the decision to take down the fence and start clearing it all away at the end of the season. I felt too sad looking at it. I’m not giving up entirely and I still plan to grow things out there. I am just going to be a bit more realistic about what I have time for.
  7. Keep Up with dog training –Achieved! I had no choice, really. A year ago Ada was a sweet little puppy who was only just starting to go for walks after her jabs. It soon became very obvious that she had a deeply ingrained fear and mistrust of the outside world and just about everything in it! Her reactivity as a puppy was absolutely terrible and I was truly stunned, wondering what on earth I had done wrong. We have done constant training since then, at home, on all our walks and with our wonderful dog trainer. She has been enjoying Hoopers, Trick Training and more recently Future Stars which is teaching her the basics for agility later on. She adores training. She is desperate to learn and please you; she just finds a lot of things very worrying. She is a lot less reactive now, thankfully. She generally won’t react anymore to previous triggers, such as cars, bikes, motorbikes, scooters, children, buggies, men in hi-vis jackets, men in helmets… It was a lot! Now it is mostly just other dogs and not all of them. Just the ones that worry her!
  8. Get fitter and stronger – Failed! I haven’t gotten worse, I just wasn’t able to keep up the pilates. I’m happy with my body and my fitness but its hiking I really want to get into next year!

I think six out of eight is not too bad and the two I didn’t achieve were not total fails. All in all it has been a good year in terms of writing and family life. Look out for next week’s post where I will set out my goals for 2024!