indie writer

The Joy Of Staying Childish

~ ChanAtkins ~ 9 Comments

Confession: I never feel like I’m a proper adult.

I’m sure I’m not the only one. In fact, I know I’m not because this is a regular topic of conversation between me and my husband. We constantly look around at other adults and discern that we are not like them. They are indeed proper adults and we certainly are not.

I’m not sure we want to be. No, probably not.

I was never the kid who wanted to grow up in a hurry and I don’t think my husband was either. I think if he could have stayed a lanky kid playing football until it was too dark to see, he would have. And if I could have stayed a bookish kid reading and writing in her bedroom, I would. Oh that’s still me!

I don’t understand people who want to be adults. I don’t understand people who are adults. I find them really hard to talk to. Most adults I come across are really, really into small talk. Small talk about cars, mortgages, interest rates, remodelling their houses, shit like that. Shit I don’t give a shit about. I never know what to say in reply. I usually have to try and not laugh.

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay (I love this photo. I feel like this will be us in the future)

I’m a giggler. And its getting worse. The older I get the more I want to giggle at everything. The slightest thing can set me off and my family know exactly how to get me going and make me choke on my tea. I’m not sure giggling with other adults happens much though? They all seem so serious. Or cheerful, about mortgages and new cars. I don’t get it.

Me and my husband just pretend at being adults. We both have jobs, though mine is one where I get to be silly with kids who love writing as much as me! My husband makes his job more fun by deliberately confusing customers or spouting random political opinions at them in a cheery manner.

As I type this I am laughing at a group chat we have on the go. I’ve got tears running down my face and my eyes sting. They don’t care though – they just make me laugh more. Sometimes I think they’re trying to kill me. My husband and I drove back from Wales yesterday after dropping our eldest back at University. I think we laughed the whole way back. At ourselves, at other people, at everything.

We look at other adults, other parents and then we look at each other, eyebrows raised.

We don’t mean to be mean, but we just don’t understand them, we just can’t gel with them. We both try hard not to get snared by anyone on the school run. Our tactics are similar. Stay in the car until the last possible minute, rush in, grab child, make no eye contact, rush back to car, phew! We don’t have a lot but we look at other people and feel glad we are not them.

Our response to life is to take the piss out of it. Our reaction to this dying world is to poke fun and laugh until we cry. No one will ever listen to us anyway, even though we know we are right about everything.

When I see a hill, I want to roll down it. When I see a tree, I want to climb it. When I see rocks, I want to jump from one to the next. I’m glad these silly childish urges have never faded. I hope they never do.

How to adult?

No clue.

It’s just not in our genes.

But my question to you today, is this. Do you feel like an adult? Do you ‘adult’ well? Does society accept and recognise you as a fully functioning adult person? Or are you like us? Do you still feel the same inside as you always did? Do you look in the mirror and find it hard to reconcile your ageing face with the childish nature inside of you?

I hope so. It’s much more fun this way.

Character Interviews: Andorra Pett

~ ChanAtkins ~ 1 Comment

Welcome to a new feature on The Glorious Outsiders where I’ll be interviewing unique characters from other people’s books! Today, I’m chatting to the intrepid intergalactic explorer Andorra Pett – the protagonist from Richard Dee’s unique series.

  1. What is your name?

I’m Andorra Pett, but you can call me Andi.

2. How old are you?

Oh dear, we’re not off to a good start, are we? I would have thought that you’d ask me some easy ones first before we got on to the personal stuff. You should never ask a lady her age. Let’s just say that my biological clock is ticking along nicely and leave it at that.

3. Where do you come from?

I’m a child of the world, my father was a diplomat, hence my name. Apparently, it’s where he was working when I was, well you know. My sister is called Argentia, enough said.

4. Where do you live? Describe it to us

I’m currently living on a space station, orbiting Saturn. That’s when I’m not off on one of my adventures. I came here for a new start after I caught my fella, Trevor with the person who’d been my best friend. Not my best day. I needed a change and together with my business partner, Cy, we left Earth for here. The station mines the rocks in Saturn’s rings for rare earth metals. I do a bit of that, as well as run a café. Life out here is quite fun, in a dangerous sort of way. We grow our own food on a farm, on part of the station, there are cows and crops, my boyfriend Derek runs it.

5. What do you look like?

I’m as tall as Napoleon. Alright, I’m short and curvy. My mother said my best feature would be my Queen Anne legs. I think it’s my hair. It can be a bit uncooperative, but there’s lots of it, it’s very dark brown and it shines. My appearance is not a subject I like to say too much about. On the space station, we don’t go in for showing off, it’s more a working gear place. Suits me, we can’t all be slim and sophisticated, like my sickening sister.

6. Who is your best friend and why?

It was Maisie. We grew up together and shared everything. There was a clue, if ever I saw one. We don’t talk now. You’d better ask the cheating scumbag, Trevor, why that might be. I don’t talk to him any more either. Now it has to be Cy. We’re not attached, he’s got a fella of his own but we’re best buddies. He’s been with me through all my adventures, knows all my secrets and has my back. Between us, we make a good team.

7. Who is your worst enemy and why?

That’s whoever fate seems to have put in my life at any particular moment. When I first arrived here it was Munro, the owner of the other café on the space station. After I found the body and people started to try and kill me, I’m not sure anymore. To be honest, it could be anyone.

8. What are your talents?

I discovered that, as well as being a pretty good clothes designer, I can fly spaceships. It’s nothing to be proud of but I also appear to have a certain knack for attracting trouble. From when I was at school, I excelled at saying the wrong thing, to the wrong person. Now, wherever I go, there seems to be a trail of dubious characters following me.

9. What are your flaws?

I’m accident-prone and can be a little slow on the uptake. On the plus side, I’m pretty good at spotting what others have missed, working things out and doing the right thing, eventually.

10. What do you think people think of you?

That I’m a dumb blonde who’s dyed her hair a few shades darker. I’m not complaining though, being thought of as stupid can have its advantages, especially when it comes to fighting crime, it’s good to be underestimated. Just ask Miss Marple.

11. What do you wish people knew about you?

What I’ve actually achieved. The biggest thing I’ve come up against is that when I’m wrong, nobody forgets and when I’m right, there’s always some reason why I’m not allowed to tell everyone how clever I was.

12. What’s your biggest fear?

I used to be frightened of spiders. I thought there wouldn’t be any on a space station. Wrong! I was cured of that phobia, in the best possible way, by Derek.

13. What’s your biggest hope?

That one day, I’ll wake up and there won’t be someone trying to kill me, or I won’t be in the middle of some ridiculous situation, wondering how I got there.

14. What’s your biggest secret?

I’ve accumulated some money that maybe I shouldn’t have. Not through doing anything naughty myself, it just came my way in the course of things and as nobody can claim it without admitting their own guilt, I decided it was best to keep it for myself. I used some of it to help friends and family who were having a rough time but the rest is my reward for a job well done.

15. What is the worst thing you have done to another person?

I’ve always tried to be a good person, even when people didn’t really deserve it. I might have made a few bitchy comments but that’s about it. Honest.

16. What kind of friend are you?

Probably the best one you could hope for, until you mess me about. You get one chance, upset me and you’re out.

17. Is there anything about your life you would change?

If you had asked me this when I first left Earth, I would have wanted to turn the clock back and try again. When something bad happens, people always wonder if doing something different might have been better. Now I know that it doesn’t matter, you’re where you are and can only ever go forward.

18. Where would you like to be in 5 years time?

If Derek’s reading this, isn’t it about time you put a ring on it?

19. Do you have any regrets?

Not really, like I said before, things happened and whether you think they were for the best or not, you can’t change them. I thought Trevor and I would grow old together, turns out I wasn’t the only one he convinced. I wish I’d listened to my mum more, I miss her advice.

20. How would you like to be remembered?

As a crime-fighting space hound, with killer wit and nerves of steel. Fat chance of that, Ha Ha!!!

21. What are your hobbies/how do you relax?

I’ve been spending time on the farm, with Derek. It’s surreal, farming on a space station but it works and is a great antidote to flying about mining asteroids. It’s fascinating trying to solve all the problems and produce food out here, I’ve even had a hand in inventing a way to produce Lobsters, which I’m really proud of.

22. What is your favourite food?

Anything that is moving slowly enough for me to grab. I’ve never met a calorie I didn’t like. My favourites are cake, chocolate, chocolate cake, you get the idea.

23. What is the worst thing you’ve had to eat?

My own cooking. Cy reckons that I couldn’t do toast without a recipe and a video. When you think about it, opening a café, selling food to hungry miners was the logical thing to do, wasn’t it?

If you want to find out more about Andorra and her adventures, here is the universal link to the first book in the series: http://mybook.to/Andorra

Here is the blurb for Andorra Pett on Mars

“Andorra Pett shouldn’t have been on a space station. It was all Trevor’s fault.

But there’s no time to mourn her cheating boyfriend. She has to open her new café. And there’s a big problem, the freezer’s filled with the body of the previous owner. Everyone she meets is a possible suspect, from the customers to her rivals, they all have a motive.

Andorra discovers that the dead man had a book, full of secrets and gossip about everyone’s life on the station. It’s certainly not the quiet backwater she hoped for, out here orbiting Saturn.

The information in the book is a prize worth killing anyone for. And it’s hidden somewhere in the café.

It all means that Andorra’s in danger. Can she stop being out of her depth long enough to turn detective and find it, before anyone else does?

If not, she could be the next one in line for a long, cold sleep.”

And here is my review:

This is a must read for sci-fi fans! Andorra Pett and her friend Cy have just landed on a space station orbiting Saturn. The story starts with them taking over an abandoned cafe and promptly discovering a dead body in the old freezer. This discovery automatically propels them into several mysteries and imminent danger, as a stranger breaks into the cafe to attack Andorra. Who is the dead man? Who killed him and why? And who is now after Andorra?
As well as solving these mysteries, the story takes us on a fascinating journey around the space station, which has its own farm among other things. The world-building is sublime, the characters memorable and the plot fast-paced!

March Writing Challenge: Changes in my writing

~ ChanAtkins ~ 4 Comments

At the start of every month I ask my Facebook followers to suggest some writing prompts and challenges and then I post the one I chose at the end of the month. January and February flew by without me remembering to ask for prompts but at the start of March I put out a plea and had some great suggestions. I was tempted by a few that inspired fictional responses, but in the end I was most tempted by this non-fiction challenge by Becky Bekstar Paroz: changes you’ve seen in your writing, the industry and industry trends. I’ve decided to just focus on changes in my own writing for this post.

I published my first book The Mess of Me in 2013 so it’s been a ten year journey now for me. It’s had its ups and downs, which, I have to say, are far more interesting than the flat periods, where not much happens. I’ve learnt a lot and I like to think I have come a long way. When I first self-published through a now defunct ebook platform called Autharium in 2013 I had no clue what I was doing. My first attempts at front covers were terrible, my blurbs needed work, I wrote books that were overly long, and I had no idea how to market them.

My covers have definitely improved! I am really happy with most of them now. There are a few older ones I’d still like to revamp at some point, but it all takes time and money. I think my writing has improved too; partly due to constant practice, time, maturity and experience. It would be pretty awful to be worse at writing after ten years of publishing! But I can also credit other people with helping me get better. My wonderful editor and proofreader, my invaluable and honest beta readers and other authors who have, over the years, offered to read manuscripts in order to give advice and tips. I’ve learnt through my own hard work but also through the guidance, kindness and honesty of others.

My writing has changed in a few ways. I think I’m better at saying things with less words now. I’m generally writing shorter books than I used to, with a few exceptions. I also have a large amount of trust in my own writing, if that makes sense. I don’t overthink it. When it comes to a first draft, for example, I just get on with it once my planning is in place. I just write it. I definitely have more self-belief.

The other way my writing has changed is the fact I’m writing in far more genres these days. In terms of marketing, that can be a headache, but hey, the main reason I write is for the pure and magical joy of it. At the start of my journey I was writing hard-hitting, gritty, realistic dramas. The plot for The Mess Of Me, for example, involves drug-running, eating disorders and self-harm. The Boy With The Thorn In His Side series delves into the murky world of career criminals, domestic and child abuse, murder, drugs and self-harm. It’s a dark ride! This Is Nowhere examines missing people and fragile mental health. Elliot Pie’s Guide To Human Nature involves a boy trying to prove to his agoraphobic mother that the world is not full of bad people.

Things changed when Sim Sansford asked me to consider writing a series with him. He had already published books in the paranormal/supernatural genre and I was intrigued. We ended up writing a YA trilogy together about two kids with amazing superpowers! If you’d told me ten years ago that I’d move from writing about teenage body image issues, to teenagers with dark forces inside them, I wouldn’t have believed you!

My interests have also inspired some change in the genres I try. Like a lot of people I’m worried about climate change and the decimation of nature and wildlife, and my upcoming series, The Day The Earth Turned comes from this fear. I hope to release book one in June. In the series, which I’d describe as horror, a group of children have to navigate a post-apocalyptic world where all the adults have been culled by nature itself. Many died in multiple pandemics, and the rest died in various awful ways as Mother Nature sought to shake herself clean of humanity. The children are given a second chance, but can they stop fighting each other longer enough to figure out how to live in this new world where humans are no longer in charge?

I’ve been a huge fan of The Walking Dead and anything zombie related for a while now, so about two years ago I started writing a diary-style story about a 15 year-old boy left to fend for himself in a zombie apocalypse. I didn’t finish it but at the moment I’m typing it up to Word and having a lot of fun as in the last two years I have planned out everything that happens!

After re-reading Stephen King’s ‘It’ a few years back, I got the idea for a creepy, strange town where a group of misfit kids have to fight evil and I created Black Hare Valley. Nothing else happened for a few years as I’m always working on other things, but I did design a map of the fictional town, created most of the characters and penned a potential opening scene. A year ago, a prolonged power cut meant I couldn’t use the laptop so I started writing Black Hare Valley into a notebook, got entirely addicted and filled up 5 books before I finished it! I haven’t touched it since then because I’m trying to get other projects ready and published before I return to I’ve full attention to this potential horror series. It’s about dark evil, magic and shape shifters! Again, I never would have imagined me writing that kind of thing!

Marketing issues remain the same. I don’t have a lot of money, if any, to throw at advertising my books so my sales and reviews remain dispiritingly low. I am hoping to change this and have some ideas planned, including trying Facebook ads for the first time and so on, but it is still the hard bit. You put so much into creating these worlds and characters, usually two years of editing back and forth before you publish, and then it proves as hard as getting blood from a stone when it comes to selling and getting reviews.

I know I’m not alone though, and I’d say, if anything, it’s got harder in this industry to be seen. I have realised throughout my own journey that the indie authors doing well have been able to pay for regular ads and marketing in order to push those sales and get those reviews. They can keep it going then, as the more reviews you have, the more you get noticed.

The indie collective Sim and I are building is something to feel hopeful about though. Chasing Driftwood Books is in its early stages but we have big plans! More on that another day!

What Are You Waiting For? Write The Thing!!

~ ChanAtkins ~ 7 Comments
Image by yogesh more from Pixabay

There is something in your head.

Something that keeps you awake at night. Something that pops into your mind at the weirdest times. Something that you ponder over and wonder about. Something that you can’t let go.

Maybe its been there for a long time. Maybe it only came to you when you got older. You know what it is yet you constantly push it down and deny it, because to admit what it is would be dangerous.

You have an idea. A glimmer or maybe something more. You have something growing inside your brain without your permission. No one knows how it got there and you don’t understand why it keeps evolving, taking up more and more space. It wants to be listened to. It wants you to look at it. It wants you to write it!

But if you are like a lot of adults I’ve known, you’ll keep ignoring it, pushing it away, denying it, trying to forget it. You’ll tell yourself it’s silly, you’ll tell yourself it’s stupid. You won’t tell anyone else about it because chances are they’ll say the same thing, right?

People are unkind to writers and negative about writing, even though telling stories is what makes us human and is what has drawn us together through shared experiences throughout time. It’s how we’ve passed on information, it’s how we’ve stayed alive, it’s what makes us different to the animals. It’s not silly, it’s important. It’s not stupid, its magical. But you won’t find that out until you give in and write the thing.

So, what are you waiting for exactly?

To get more time? Who is going to gift you more time? No one. Certainly not this life or this world. If anything, they’ll just keep sucking more from you, if you let them. Give up on the idea that you will ever have the time to write. No one has the time to write. They make the time to write. They demand the time to write. They steal it back and make it theirs so that they can finally write the thing.

What else are you waiting for? The space to write? Is someone going to magically deliver a special writing room or secret loft or wooden cabin for you? No chance. Grab your space, steal it just like you need to steal your time. You just need a desk, you just need a chair. You just need that thing that is in your head!

Are you waiting for confidence? Forget that and write it anyway! Whose permission do you need? Everyone is a beginner when they start. Everyone is a novice, and amateur, learning as they go. Why are you any different that you can’t push that aside and write it anyway? You’re not. And you can.

Are you waiting for your skills to develop? They can’t do that unless you start exercising them! Let go of the need for perfection and write it anyway. Write the thing and let the thing guide you and teach you. Let it out.

Are you waiting for self-doubt and imposter syndrome to go away? Don’t be silly, they never will! Writers are anxious introverted people. We observe the world and absorb its pain and beauty. You’re going to explode if you keep all that inside of you!

Do you think its silly? Self-indulgent? Selfish? A waste of time? It’s none of those things. It’s there in your head waiting to be set free. It’s there for a reason. What is it doing there? How did it get there? You’ve got an idea, an itch, an inkling. Don’t you dare push it aside and focus on your boring job and household chores. Life is short. We are a long time dead. We will never get this moment, right here, right now, ever again. What are you waiting for?

Are you afraid of failure? Put off by the publishing industry? Made to feel not good enough? Maybe you don’t know how to start. Just start! Just do it! Just write the thing, write the thing down in all its ugly, clumsy, upside down glory and then breathe out in victory because you’ve started the journey and no one can stop you now.

There is something achingly tragic about a writer who never wrote, a human who never told their story, never voiced their fears and dreams, never let the thing run riot from brain to hand to pen to paper. Forget everything else. Forget publishing, forget editing, forget readers, forget sales, forget reviews. None of that matters when there is a thing in your head clawing to get out. Write the thing and leave the rest for now. It is your duty to set it free.

What on earth are you waiting for?