self publishing

The Mess Of Us Is Released Next Week!

~ ChanAtkins ~ Leave a comment

Only a week to go until my 23rd book is released…

https://books2read.com/u/4NNka6

Exactly one week from now, my 23rd book, which just so happens to be the sequel to my first ever book, will be released! The Mess Of Us came out way back in 2013.

This is very exciting for several reasons. Of course, it is always exciting to release a new book and it never gets old holding that book in your hands and knowing that you did it!

It’s extra exciting because it’s taken me so long to get around to writing the sequel. I did have ideas for it years ago but didn’t do anything with them for a very long time. Then, a couple of years back I started to think about how the first book ended and that got me wondering exactly what the characters would have done next…

I decided to set the sequel two years after the events of the first book. A violent altercation between Joe and his oldest brother, Leon, led everyone in the book to an uncertain place, fraught with anger, fear, resentment and guilt.

I started thinking a lot about Leon. He is a villain through and through in the first book. Main character and narrator Lou describes him best:

“Leon scares me. I don’t like being in his presence. He makes me feel uncomfortable, but I am unable to really articulate why. He wants to be a hard man; he wants to not care about anyone or anything, as if somehow, he believes this to be the best way to go through life. It is what he seeks to achieve. Not giving a shit. Dealing drugs, if that is what he is doing, (and we can strongly suppose that it is), is just his latest ploy to try to achieve this. He is bizarrely determined to live as crooked and brutal a life as possible, and you can see it in every inch of him – his empty, hard eyes, his lack of remorse or empathy for anything or anyone; the way his body ripples and bristles, as if every muscle within it has been injected with pure blind rage. I wonder whom he is trying to impress, and I can only imagine that it is himself.”

But there are moments in The Mess Of Me where Lou concedes that Leon didn’t exactly have a kind or caring upbringing. As the oldest, he is the scapegoat in their dysfunctional and often violent family:

‘Yeah, he grabbed the frying pan and clocked Mick over the head with it. Jesus Christ there was blood everywhere. He had to have eight stitches.’
‘And the police turned up.’
‘And arrested Leon. Mum and Mick told them to.’
I turn my head and look at the side of Joe’s face. ‘Joe, I’ve never really thought about it much until now, but you do know that is really disgusting, don’t you?’ I watch as Joe nods back at me. ‘He was about fourteen then? He was just trying to protect his mum. I’ve never ever felt sorry for Leon before, but thinking about it now, that was pretty harsh on him.’
‘He’s hard to feel sorry for.’
‘Do you think your mum and Mick ever feel sorry about that? Letting him get taken away, when it was them fighting in the first place? I couldn’t live with myself.’
Joe snorts again. ‘They always think they’re right,’ he replies. ‘Doesn’t matter what you say or do. Doesn’t matter if you prove them wrong or whatever. Neither of them are ever fucking wrong, ever. So no, I don’t think they would ever feel guilty about that.’

It was moments like this one that made Lou wonder about Leon. In The Mess Of Me, she was disgusted by him and frightened of him, but she was also endlessly curious about him and his secret, shady life.

It made me think what had driven Leon to a life of crime. Lack of money and parental support at home are often factors that drive youngsters towards crime. Children from deprived areas are far more likely to be groomed into running drugs for gangs, for example, and in The Mess of Us, as both Lou and Joe attempt to get past what Leon did, she finally discovers how he got into crime:

‘Leon, how old were you were you first started doing it?’
‘Thirteen,’ he replies without hesitation. My eyes grow wider. I think back, trying to picture him at thirteen. He had longer hair back then. He was always bigger than us but he wasn’t huge, or muscled. He was just a kid. I’m still staring, feeling dazed as the realisation hits me. He frowns back at me. ‘What?’
‘I mean… How? How did…’
‘This older kid at school,’ he says. ‘He let us try a bit of grass for free. After school, walking home. Me and Travis, some others. Not long after that he wanted us to pay for it and not long after that he wanted us to, you know. Run errands.’
Shit. I slump back and stare ahead. I had never imagined it like this. I had only ever seen Leon as the aggressor, the bully, the criminal. I had never once imagined that someone else had done this to him, lured him in, made him promises, got him on side. At thirteen…

The Mess Of Us is about a lot of things. The main plot follows Lou and Joe grappling with an unplanned pregnancy alongside dealing with the fact Leon has just been released from prison. But it is also a story about forgiveness and redemption and about what happens to people to turn them hard and cold…

And what is even more exciting for me is that by the time I finished writing it, The Mess Of Us gave me an amazing and unexpected gift!

An idea for a brand new book! A book connecting all of my characters who lives inhabit and cross paths within the same universe. A book that would tie up all of their original stories, whilst dealing with the mystery of a missing child, and delving into Leon more fully as a character.

I had the best fun writing it. It was the easiest and fastest book I’ve ever written, probably because I already knew all the characters so well!

It’s called The Dark Finds You and I hope to release it towards the end of 2025, so stay tuned. I will be posting a lot about it and how it connects to my other books nearer the time!

Meanwhile, I’d really appreciate it if you grabbed a copy of The Mess Of Us whilst it’s still just 99p for the ebook! It does help if you have read the first book, but it can certainly be read as a standalone.

Thank you!

Here is the blurb:

“Dear World, so, obviously we made a mess of it. Inevitably. Otherwise I wouldn’t be writing to you again, would I?”

What do you do when the man who beat your boyfriend into a coma is about to be released from prison? What do you do when that man is your boyfriend’s older brother who wants to make amends?

Now a couple, Lou and Joe are struggling to get over the traumatic events of two years ago. When Joe’s brother Leon is released from prison, they must decide if either of them are able to forgive and forget what he did.
Meanwhile, an unexpected pregnancy throws their lives into chaos and when tragedy reawakens Lou’s self-destructive tendencies, she faces losing everything they have built. Can she fight her body image demons once again? Can either of them trust Leon? As Joe and Lou try to decide whether bad people can truly change, they are about to have one mess of a summer.

Indie Writers Are The Bravest Writers I Know

~ ChanAtkins ~ 4 Comments
Image by Alexa from Pixabay

Last week I posted about how risk and courage go hand in hand with writing and I stand by that. It is incredibly brave to write at all and even braver to share that with the world. But in my view and in my experience, indie writers are perhaps the bravest of all.

Let’s look at what indie writers willingly put themselves through in order to get their stories out there for you to read and let’s also remind ourselves of what is involved in being an indie author these days.

  • First, the indie writer writes and finishes their book. This is in contrast to the 97% of people who start writing a book and never finish it.
  • Before becoming an indie, most but not all indie writers try the traditional route. They will have sent out to hundreds of agents and hundreds of small presses. They may have entered numerous competitions. Anything to try and get a foot in the trad door. But to no avail. They don’t give up there though. That’s how brave they are. They are not quitters.
  • They decide to go indie. This means different things to different people but ultimately it means the author is in control of their book, including the editing and proofreading, the blurb, the front cover and marketing it. Scary and brave, especially in the beginning!
  • If they haven’t already, they will start and build multiple social media pages with their blog or website at the forefront of their news and writing. This takes a lot of time and commitment and it is hard starting with 0 followers, yet they do it anyway, even if they are talking to themselves most of the time!
  • When it comes to their book, they will do multiple drafts if they care about the craft of writing and they will send it out to beta readers for honest feedback.
  • They’ll respond to this feedback and revise the book again. More edits may follow until they are happy enough to send it to an editor and/or proofreader.
  • Meanwhile, they’ll be battling with the blurb, sourcing possible front covers at reasonable prices or learning how to make their own.
  • They will start learning how to market their book. They will start trying to figure out where and who their audience is. This is both time consuming and scary. Writers are introverts at heart so it takes some guts to start shouting, look at me! Read my book!
  • Once the book is back from the editor they will do final edits and proofreads and then decide on a release date
  • They’ll also decide whether to go exclusive with Amazon and make sure their book is available on multiple platforms in multiple formats.
  • They will set up a pre-order for the book and start marketing as best they can!
  • In reality, most of them won’t make back the money they have spent getting it this far, but that won’t stop the indie author. They will already be writing the next one.
  • Sadly, the majority of the indie author’s close friends and family won’t buy, read, review or even respond to their exciting book news, so they will have to rely on the kindness of strangers and random readers on the internet.
  • The indie writer might be feeling quite demoralised by now, but they’ll keep going. Brave, you see.
  • The indie writer faces endless hurdles. In order to market their book they need money and if they don’t have money, they have to do whatever they can for free. This puts them at an instant disadvantage but it won’t stop them. No way. They are resilient and will find a way to keep going.
  • The hurdles never stop coming and they just seem to be getting worse. They now have to compete with AI as well as other authors, and traditionally published authors. A bit of a slap in the face, if you ask me, but the indie writer won’t give up or give in. Especially not to bots! No way. The indie author is here to stay.

I think I could go on for a while listing the hurdles indie writers face, and the very many ways in which they prove themselves to be the bravest of writers. They overcome rejection and keep going. They learn how to produce, format and market their own book, and don’t give up even if it fails. They are largely unsupported by family and friends, but don’t let that stop them and now they have AI coming for their jobs…

I mean, maybe we’re all just a bit mad, rather than brave!

What do you think?

My 2025 Goals!

~ ChanAtkins ~ Leave a comment

Every year I set goals for the year ahead so that at the end of the year I can compare them to the reality!

Image by Παῦλος from Pixabay

I can barely believe another year has flown by so fast, but here we are. It’s time to think about what I would like to achieve in 2025, then at the end of 2025 I will write a comparison post where I revisit these goals and see how well I did!

So. without further ado, I hope 2025 looks like this:

  1. Publish The Mess Of Us February 2025 – this is already ready and set up for pre-order so should be easy to achieve and is the first goal for me for the New Year.
  2. Go through my editors suggestions for The Dark Finds You and prepare it for release summer 2025 – The Dark Finds You will be the final book in a universe of interconnected books. If you’ve been kind enough to read all my books, you will recognise several of the characters. This crime drama storyline will tie up all their individual stories and issues and it was possibly my favourite book to write ever, so I’ll be very excited to release it!
  3. Publish The World You Gave Us through Chasing Driftwood Books – This is an anthology of fiction, poetry and non-fiction written by the children I work with within Chasing Driftwood Writing Group. I started it a few years back and got quite far but then lost it when my laptop died, so we had to start again from scratch. It’s looking very good so far but I intend to really push for content between January and April and then start getting it ready for a June release.
  4. Send Black Hare Valley Book 1 to beta readers and my editor – I am currently on the fifth draft and already feel like the next stage is beta reader feedback.
  5. Get both Black Hare Valley books 2 and 3 to 5th draft status – They are both in the first draft at the moment, but while the first book goes to beta readers, I’ll direct my attention to them and get them further along the road. They are both much shorter books than the first!
  6. Finish the companion book I am working on – I started this the other day. It’s basically a diary written by one of the main characters. There is a thirty year gap between book 1 and book 3 where this character is basically alone and sort of trapped. I thought it would be really fun if he kept a diary during that time and I could use it as a companion book. I also have lots of short story ideas for the Black Hare Valley universe. And it certainly is becoming another universe!
  7. Continue to build and progress Chasing Driftwood Books – This is the indie collective myself and author Sim Alec Sansford started with a group of authors. We were all in the same boat, struggling with low sales and reviews and low incomes. So we decided to band together and work cooperatively to get our work more out there. We only launched the website and the social media pages very recently, but there is lots we want to achieve this year.
  8. Continue to keep as physically and mentally well as possible! – I have dived in and out of pilates throughout my life but I’m currently in my longest streak of sticking with it and I’ve really started to see results. I started back in August and very rarely go a day without doing at least fifteen minutes of pilates exercises. I find it very relaxing and calming for me mentally and it has certainly helped with the age related aches and pains I was starting to feel set in. I will be 47 this year, and as I edge closer to 50 I intend to stay as fit and healthy as I can. For mental health this means pilates, writing and being outdoors as much as possible. Let’s see if I can stick with it!
  9. Restart my vegetable plot – I had a year off last year. It was stressing me out because every year I started with the best intentions and soon found I run out of time and energy. The vegetable plot would end up horribly neglected and I would feel disappointed with myself. What I did do was take down all the fencing and let the earth just rest for a year. I planted a few bits in old car tires and that was it. This year I intend to start small and slow and see how far I get. The whole area needed sorting and tidying so at least I have done that. I missed it a lot. I’ve just got to allocate time for it and that’s usually the tricky thing.
  10. Reconnect with nature whenever and wherever I can – part of this is my new goal to learn the names of things I do not know. I have a certain amount of knowledge when it comes to plants, trees, weeds, birds and wild animals but there is so much I do not know. I’ve decided to choose three things on every dog walk that I do not know the name of and then find out. So far already I have identified turkey tail fungi, wild honeysuckle, purple moor grass, Douglas Fir, Scots Pine, Spindle, rough chervil, celandine, sedge grass, noble yarrow, hogweed, sweet violet, common bittercress and a few more. I hope by learning to identify them and then sharing it to Facebook, I will remember them for good. I also hope to get out in nature and explore some new areas this year.

So, that’s everything I hope to achieve in 2025! It will be interesting to revisit these at the end of the year and see how it went.

My 2024 Goals Vs The Reality

~ ChanAtkins ~ 4 Comments

Every New Year I set goals for the year ahead, then see how many I achieved at the end of the year

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

It’s that time of year again! Time to revisit the goals I set for myself at the start of 2024 and see how many I achieved. And of course, the post that follows next week will be me setting out my goals for 2025!

So, how did I do? Here are the goals I set myself a year ago and whether or not I achieved them:

  1. Publish the next two books in The Day The Earth Turned Series – achieved! Having published Summer and Autumn in 2023, I kept to my goal of publishing the next two books in this series in Winter and Spring. Achieved!
  2. Publish At Night We Played In The Road –  achieved! I published this spin off book from The Boy With The Thorn In His Side series in November 2024!
  3. Publish The Mess Of Us – not achieved but the preorder is now live and the book will be released February 2025. I decided to space the books out a bit and publishing this in 2024 so close to At Night We Played In The Road would have been too hectic.
  4. Republish The Mess Of Me with updates and new cover – achieved! New edit, new cover, done!
  5. Send The Dark Finds You to beta readers – achieved – sort of! I am actually so confident about this book I don’t think it needs beta readers, so I sent it to my wonderful editor/proofreader to see what she thought instead. She had some feedback which I plan to work on early next year and then I will publish this one summer 2025 after further edits.
  6. Continue to publish and grow on Medium – achieved! Although at the moment it is doing my head in but more on that another day! I have continued to publish and have only had one month when I didn’t get boosted. I am super proud of this. I even launched my own tiny publication in August, The Wild Writers Club.
  7. Launch the website for Chasing Driftwood Books – achieved! Chasing Driftwood Books is an indie collective started by myself and Sim Alec Sansford. It’s basically our own publisher! We finally finished the website and launched in the summer of 2024.
  8. Tackle the third draft of Black Hare Valley – achieved! And then some! I have just started the fifth draft of Black Hare Valley Book 1 1996, yes, that’s right, there are now three! So, I didn’t just work on the first one, I wrote the second, 1966 and the third, 2026 and they are both currently in first draft status.
  9. Add paid and free writing resources to the Chasing Driftwood Writing Group website – achieved! This site now has free resources for young writers and I continue to add to it when I can.
  10. Get into hiking – achieved, sort of! We’ve visited Devon multiple times this year and every visit has seen us exploring new areas, so I guess I achieved it, but I would have liked to also hike in some other areas.

I’m really happy with what I achieved and I am so glad I set the goals every years and then check them. It’s often too easy to get stressed out and bogged down by life and work and feel like you’re not really achieving anything. This is my way of reminding myself what I set out to do and I am always surprised by the amount I get done.

I won’t post again until after Christmas so I’d like to wish all my followers a wonderful festive period doing whatever you enjoy with the people you love!

Thank you so much for reading my work and supporting me in 2024.