Words will outlive us

Well they will, but only if people read them.

Right now, all my words are lost in cyberspace! Floating in the air waves from twitter to wordpress to facebook to back to my head…back to where they came from.  My head is full of words unwritten, words unspoken, thoughts made up of words, words that swell and groan with sorrow, and joy, one after the after, rising up and dipping down, taking my stomach with them, holding my heart and then releasing it again to breathe, keep breathing, in and out with the words and the thoughts and the knowings and the awakenings, and the realisations and the pain of knowing that it will one day all end, all cease, all cramp up and twist inwards and freeze and crumble and fade and die…

And that we are helpless.  Stranded in this life, loving it and embracing it, and seeing the beauty everywhere, and grabbing it and tasting it, and never really truly owning it or being able to capture it or hold it still, for it all keeps moving on, moving forward, whooshing and whooshing away from our grasp, because it does not belong to us, it is elusive and teasing and transient and it leads us to our deaths…

And we stumble on, because that is all we can do,because our feet and our hearts keep leading us on, drawing us nearer to the flame…And we want to hold it back sometimes, we want to drag our feet and take our time, but we cannot do it, because one moment tumbles ruthlessly into the next, and becomes another, becomes another single breath of solitary life, never to be breathed again, it spins us on and on and on, and that is why we look back so much, we turn our heads to the past and speak of good times, bad times, mistakes and joys, photographs that keep it still for us, and words that speak of what it was…

If you speak the words, then they are already nearly lost…they transmit from your mouth to anothers mind, to memory and that is all, but if you write them down, they have a longer life, some chance or resurrecting themselves…No one sees what you see, no one knows what you know or feels what you feel…it’s all locked within us, and we all just view the shell that covers us and think we know.

So i write it down, I write it down, I think it and feel it and write it, and then it is safe, it is there, it has escaped and it is not lost, it has a chance. Words and pictures are all we have left.  Without words and pictures to record our moments, it would feel like our moments never existed, because once the thought is gone, its gone, and the moment with it, and the day has trundled on to the end of it all, and you have to go to bed at some point, and that brings sleep at some point, and then I close my eyes and wonder what if I never wake up again?  What if that was it?  My last day on earth?  What if tomorrow I am a shell, but only a shell, empty on the inside, just gone.  Forever.  When I get behind the wheel, the thought pokes at me every time, what if this is the journey that kills me?  What if this is the day a car collides into mine, and I hit my head and I never wake up again?  I am snuffed out, turned off, tuned out, wiped out, obliterated from this world in one tiny unimportant passing moment of time…People that love me, people that know me, people that see me, people that hear of me, people that spoke to me, people that remember me, they will cry, or talk, or shrug, or be sad, or feel nothing, or walk on, or make a cup of tea…All that will remain of me is their memories of me, for a fleeting amount of time, until they begin to fade, until those people die too, until like all the others that returned to the earth before me, nothing, nothing, nothing is left.

Except pictures…for a while

Except words…if I am lucky.

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