It can’t be easy having a writer in your life. They can be rather self-absorbed, perhaps even obsessive at times. They may appear to be living in a constant daydream. They may stay up late at night, drinking coffee and pounding the keyboard. They may get a little agitated when they don’t get time to write and they can be hell to live with if the dreaded writer’s block strikes. But if your friend or relative is a writer, there are lots of things you can do to make life a little easier for them. Here are some things you should definitely avoid doing if you don’t want to annoy the writer in your life.
- Don’t buy their book if you have no intention of ever reading it. This will only cause them to writhe in anxious frustration for months on end, as they battle with the urge to constantly ask you if you have read it or not. If you buy their book, please do read it. Anything else is torture for them!
- Don’t read their book if you have no intention of reviewing it. Reviews are fuel for writers. Reviews make their day, their month, their year, so please know when you tell a writer you have finally read their precious book, they are now going to expect you to leave a review for it somewhere. Writers can get rather obsessed with waiting for reviews, so please don’t leave them hanging. Just a short ‘it was good’ will keep them happy.
- Don’t ignore their successes, no matter how minor. Success is different for different writers. Some will have their eyes set on huge publishing deals, huge advances and after that, world fame. Others are just excited to have finished writing their book! Success means different things to them, so please don’t ignore their little milestones. Whether it is finally starting to write, finishing a project, getting a publishing contract or taking the self-publishing route, please know that it is a huge deal for them and they would love for you to be excited for them.
- If their book is not for you, please tell them early on. It is always best to be honest to avoid the writer hanging on in nervous anticipation, wondering if their family member or friend or workmate will read their book. If it is really not for you, not something you would ever read in a million years, please put them out of their misery as soon as possible and tell them this. They will get it over it, I promise, and you won’t have to put up with them hinting and sighing in your direction every time you announce you need a new book to read.
- If you haven’t read their work (for whatever reason) please don’t expect them to not be just a little bit hurt every time you ask for reading recommendations. They really, really want to yell; ‘my book!’ every time you do this, but they don’t want to put you in an awkward position.
- Avoid certain hurtful phrases such as; ‘writing is not a real job,’ ‘anyone can write a book,’ ‘I wish I had time to sit and write a book all day,’ and so on. To a writer, their writing is their world. You may not understand it, but it’s part of what makes them who they are, and the world would be a very dull place if it were not full of writers.
- Remember that their writing time is precious to them. Perhaps they have a day job and can only write in the evening or at the weekend. Perhaps they can survive on the money they make from writing, or perhaps they are retired and devote as much time as they can to their craft. Whatever time a writer has to work on their book, it is incredibly precious to them and they ought to guard it fiercely. Writers need time, space and peace to get things done. If you can allow them this, they will be much happier and calmer, and they will not annoy you so much in return.
If you follow these simple rules, I can guarantee any writers you know will be incredibly grateful and in the long-run they will be far less annoying to know!