Character Interview; Elliot from Elliot Pie’s Guide To Human Nature

Q1 What have you got planned for today?

It’s the summer holidays, so I’m going to go out and about on my bike. Probably call for Finn and Leah and rider our bikes about. Exploring! I’m really trying to explore new areas and not just stay in the same place the whole time. I’m trying to meet new people too. I know they say you shouldn’t talk to strangers, but strangers are actually so interesting!

Q2 Do you have any pets?

I don’t have any pets of my own. But I’m looking after my Uncle Liam’s dog, Tizer, while he’s off getting his head straight. Tizer is a staffy. Some people are scared of them, but Tizer’s such an old softy, he’s nothing to be scared of. He mostly just likes sleeping and snoring.

Q3 Do you have any siblings?

No, I’m an only child. I wish I had brothers and sisters, I really do. I would love it. I wouldn’t mind if they were older or younger, I would just love it. You’d never be alone. You’d always have someone to hang around with. You’d have someone to talk to when Mum is in one of her moods. But Mum said I was a surprise and she never intended on having any kids, so one is definitely enough.

Q4 Who is your best friend and why?

Well, I have two friends, Finn and Leah. I think we’re friends because we live near each other and we walk the same way to school. Also, because none of us are popular. I used to worry that we weren’t real friends, because we didn’t choose to be friends, we just ended up that way. We got pushed together. But we’ve had so many adventures this summer, I don’t worry about that anymore. We are definitely friends! Proper friends! In some ways though, my Uncle Liam is my best friend, because that’s how we’ve always been. Like mates. He always calls me golden, and ruffles my hair and talks to me about Doctor Who and his favourite songs. He’s not around at the moment. Mum and Nan say he had a lot of stress and had to sort himself out. He’ll be back soon though, I know it.

Q5 Who are you scared of?

I’m not scared of anyone, except Spencer Reeves. He’s this stupid boy at school. He’s very well-off and stuck up, and he’s brilliant at football and all the girls fancy him. But basically he’s a massive bitch. He’s just mean, all the time, mostly to me. He calls me Pie-face and other things. I feel a bit sorry for him, because I think he hasn’t been brought up properly, but I hate him too. And he scares me. Because I don’t really understand why he hates me so much. I’m also a little, tiny bit scared of this lady I met. She’s part of my project, and sometimes I think about crossing her off the list, because she can be a bit nasty at times. But I do find that interesting, how honest she is. She never lies, which is very interesting.

Q6 What is your greatest fear?

It’s probably my Uncle Liam not coming back. I’m sure he will, but Mum and Nan sometimes say weird things like, ‘we have to prepare ourselves’. I know they’re more worried about him than they let on, but I don’t know why, because they never tell me anything. They treat me like a baby. My mum has tons and tons of fears. I try not to let them rub off on me. With my project, I’m starting to notice that these days a lot of people are really frightened. Some of them try to look on the bright side of things, like Frank, and then others, like Alex, think the world is doomed and we might as well give up. Mum feels like that too. She gets so upset watching the news. Don’t ever ask her what her greatest fear is…she would keep going for days!

Q7 What are your hopes and dreams?

I hope and dream that Uncle Liam will come back soon. I miss him so much. I know he will make Mum feel better again and everything will go back to normal. I hope and dream that Mum will start going outside again, and she’ll get brave and strong and not be upset anymore. I hope and dream that all the interesting people I am meeting will help me understand things, and one day, I hope I have a job where I get to be outside all day.

Q8 Do you have any hobbies?

I really love Doctor Who, and I really love just riding my bike all over the place, exploring new places. I love being outside and being with nature and stuff like that. And I love writing all my thoughts and finds down in my notebook!

Q9 Describe yourself in one sentence

Curious, excited, adventurous outdoorsy boy who is a geek.

Q10 What is your biggest secret?

My project. I have to keep it secret because Mum would go mental if she knew I was talking to strangers, and she’d have an absolute breakdown if she knew I was going into their houses and stuff! But I’m only doing it to help her. I want to prove to her that not all people are bad and nasty! I want to prove to her that most people are really good and not hurting anyone, and just want peace in life. I’ll tell her one day, when I’ve got enough information and I can explain it to her properly, but until then, it has to stay a secret! From everyone!

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